|This disguise PDF is still on my to-do list|
I wish I could remember where I learned this technique, so that I could link to it or give credit where it's due. But I can't. I would if I could, but I can't.
When you're hugging or snuggling someone who is upset, a non-verbal way to get him or her to calm down is to slow down your own breathing. Unconsciously, the friend being hugged will follow your lead and take slower, longer breaths—a key component to becoming less panicked and more in control.
One might suppose that I learned this through a late-night newborn-baby session or when pulling my hair out over my three-year-old's chaos.
But I remember being a newlywed, sitting in our four-foot-squared hallway, hugging my husband who was having a hard day. No talking involved, no saying the wrong thing, no "I know how you feels." Just a hug, some conscious breathing on my part, and a lot of love.
Now that you know one of my care-taking secrets, I hope that you can use it on me.
I've needed it recently.