Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Stop With the Accusations Already

I am not the most cuddly person in the world.

My round exterior may suggest that I'm a jolly old soul, but I prefer to express myself in sarcasm and sardonic humor. Each of my closest friends know to take what I say with a grain of salt, as do many of my farthest enemies. Even my husband and I are faux bullies to each other sometimes, proving the old adage that we tease because we love.

But I am thinking about changing my behavior, in a way. After having a few things come back around to me lately, I think my new ways may be for the best.

I am done with faux accusations for teasing's sake.

For someone who fires on all cylinders when teasing, this is a big step for me. I don't believe that I can rescind all of my teasing ways, but I definitely feel that the accusations need to stop.

I vow to stop telling people that they left me out, when I know I don't need to be involved in everything. I vow to stop saying that someone has let me down, when I know that they did their very best. I vow to stop wondering out loud why all of my unnamed expectations weren't met, when there are times someone was only trying to do something nice for me. I vow to stop asking my children why they are bugging me, when I know that they are still learning how to act thoughtfully. I vow to stop vocalizing my failure when faced with another's success, when I know I should be celebrating them instead.

When unsuspecting friends and family hear my "silly" accusations, there is a good chance that they see something behind the jokes. I know when these things are said to me, I am left with a bad taste in my mouth. A few of these "jokes" have soured my opinion of some people; even if I don't detect any malice in their words after close inspection, I conclude that the person who "accused" me isn't aware enough to know how their teasing came across.

These types of faux accusations run especially rampant on the Internet, where sarcasm is hard to connote anyway. Commenting negatively on any social media platforms or websites can be a slippery slope—it's best not to give people a good reason to anonymously harass you.

Though I may continue teasing people to make them feel included or joking around with someone who needs some distraction, I know that I am done with pointing the finger at someone just to get a laugh. As a child, I even bristled at being accused (in sing-song) of stealing the cookie from the cookie jar. Why should I joke about someone else stealing cookies from the cookie jar, especially when they are simply getting one to share with me?

Have you felt the sting of joking accusations? 
Who's with me in renouncing this behavior?

No comments:

Post a Comment