Thursday, May 9, 2013

When Jack Attacks (Verbally)

 When my son Jacko meets people for the first time, he often introduces himself: "I am Jack O. Flanagan. JACKOFLANAGAN." His middle name is actually Hansen. Here are some of his greatest, latest quotations.

  1. My son just yelled at me for "making [him] wobble." The Force must be strong with me today, as I never touched him.
  2. My son just told me to "save [my] last words." What a funny menace to society.
  3. Jacko told me, "Mommy, California misses me."
  4. My son just asked me if we could have a conversation about the ideology of Breaking It Down in another room. The living room was not enough.
  5. Jacko: "Mom, can you help me?" Me: "With what?" Jacko: "Help me...even the odds."
  6. My son just informed me that he doesn't know what a toaster is. This is how bored he is today—making wildly untrue, mundane statements.
  7. My kids have that Flanagan drive, seeing as Jacko wants to be a professional Happy Face and Lucy wants to be a professional Baby. Can't nothing hold them down.
  8. You know your day will be filled with mystery when your four-year-old says, "Mommy, you know what I want to say to you, to your face? .............Steak."
  9. Jacko, upon playing fairy world: "Would you like to eat this smurf chef, Mom? He died in 1987, but he's freshly burned!"
  10. When asking himself the question, "What is a blow-out," Jacko responded the only way he knew how: "A blow-out is when something is really great and blows out your mind."
  11. I kept a straight face when Jacko told me, with tears in his eyes, "Mommy, you not letting me sit on your lap broke my heart. Come back to me, Mommy."
  12. As Jacko reminded the Target cashier who said that he didn't have anyone to celebrate Valentine's day with: "Valentine's day is a day for people you care about. I hope that there's SOMEONE you care about in the world!"
  13. Upon meeting a cute girl at the McDonald's playplace today and introducing himself, Jacko continually asked her, "Have we met?" He told me in the car afterward that he was certain he remembered her from a previous meeting because "she was really beautiful."

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