Friendly Friend

When Bill Cosby's son Ennis was killed in 1997, the superstar comedian lost his only son. But, more importantly to him, he lost one of his greatest heroes; Mr. Cosby admired Ennis' dedication to overcome his struggles (like dyslexia) and his positive attitude. A friend of Ennis' described him: "[Ennis] was a friend to everyone that he'd met and would refer to people as such," said his boarding school classmate and best friend, Phil Caputo, an L.A. attorney, on Larry King Live. [source]

"He'd say, 'Hello Friend.' " Indeed, the greeting has become part of Ennis's legacy."

I was 12-years-old when this senseless murder happened. My family is basically its own chapter of the Bill Cosby fan club, so we were devastated for him, like most of the country. I recall so many of the interviews given and memories shared of Ennis Cosby; being 12 usually doesn't lend itself to tuning in to these kinds of serious matters, but for some reason I knew I had to pay attention.

And 15 years later, it's obvious to me why I was so drawn to that news story.

During the aftermath of his death, I decided to adopt Ennis Cosby's habit of calling everyone "friend." That sounded like an easy way to let people know that I recognized them in this big world and wanted them to know that I cared, on some level. And since then, I literally call people of all walks of life "friend." And not in the sense like, "Some of my best friends are transient hobos."

When I speak with someone at the grocery store or on the train, I refer to them as Friend. At times when I need to reference someone I don't know in public to my children, I say, "Do you see that friend over there?" People that I have known for literally my whole life are often greeted with a casual "Hey, friend." I believe that this habit shows people that I want to connect with them, even if for a moment.

And almost every time I use that moniker, I think about Ennis Cosby. I know that his death meant so much more to so many other people, but if he hadn't died, that People magazine article may not have been written; I would have never made the conscious decision to follow his lead.

I would love it if my legacy were calling every person I met "Friend."