I Was Perfectly Young

I woke up in a funk. I even tweeted about it, that's how funky I was. Public funk.

My brain was in a fog and all I could do to remedy it was to look at pictures of former boyfriends. That kind of puppy love memory is always quite soothing to me.

The best place to find those pictures is at my very first blog, Burst My Bubble. I started it when I was 18 and wrote in it through my 20th year; the thing that stopped me from writing in it was that I started dating this really cute boy named Caleb and he took up all of my time. And then we got married, so.... you know.

Reading through those blog entries picked me up out of my funk for sure. Looking back and realizing that I had that kind of fun while I was young made my heart feel less achy.

And I realize that I'm still young. 26 years old is not even halfway, I hope. There is something tangibly inexperienced about the late teens & early 20s that I can't recapture. But reading those blog entries made me realize that for today, though, I don't think I'd want to recapture it. I mean, do I want to be the person who could write:

Eating a smore in the middle of the day isn't as romantic as it is next to a campfire under the stars. Oh well.

There are tendencies to look back in the past, look forward to the future. I can't wrap my brain around the present. And I feel badly for those who have to share it with me. I also feel badly for the kids in Zimbabwe who haven't heard of Cranium. Such an awesome game.

I haven't found any way that I can feel like I've actually seen someone than through their music.

And that includes MJ.

That's all one post, by the way. I wish I could say they were snippets from different entries, but that's how my younger brain worked. I'm proud of me back then.

And I am happy with me today.