Regarding College

From a Sept. 2006 journal entry:

I had to explain the word catharsis to Caleb today; someone used it on "Project Runway" and he scoffed like it wasn't a real word. It is. And here's an example of some...

Even though I'm a terrible, worthless college dropout, I feel like there's some merit to my life. I made a great decision in marrying Caleb; I have more inner peace than I have since I was 15; I feel intellectually accomplished; and I also have pretty long hair. A good person! I'm a great person!

And a college dropout.

I wish I could say that I am the next Steve Jobs, dropping out of college to pursue what they couldn't teach me in a staunch academic environment. There are times when I want to be pregnant with twins, on bed rest. I could pretend that I would be saving me from myself, tempted to pack up my textbooks and haul it down to campus in the rain. In the middle of the night, I hope that Caleb will become rich so we could jet set to Aruba, where people don't care if you go to college. They don't even care if you can spell "college." Arubans want you to party and do it well. I can.

But I didn't go to college for it.

My hobby lately has been going through my old journals and seeing what was what back in the day. I have been mostly amused by the silly things I've written, but this entry struck me so hard. All of this is still so accurate to my views regarding college graduation -- it is great, I hope to do it someday, but today is not that day. I am a smart person who accomplishes a lot. Guide to Online Schools has information on college programs if you need a change and you want to learn about the program that is right for you. Right now, I'm accomplishing a feat I did not think I could two years ago: raising happy and smart children.

But, I will say, thank goodness I didn't actually get pregnant with twins and try to walk to the BYU campus every day. People already tell me I'm crazy as it is.