Yes, I'll Take Some of That

We are very blessed to have good friends in our lives.

Before Caleb and I met each other, I rolled comfortably in a group with a lot of casual friends, while Caleb could count all of his hangout buddies on one hand. We started dating, and those worlds started to mesh; some nights we watched movies at Caleb's with his roommate Shawn and other nights we'd have dance parties with my entire ward at my apartment. And the longer we have been married, the smaller our circles have become. We're older (which means our high school and college friends are dispersed throughout the country being "grown ups"), we're parents (which means that 7 pm feels really late, forget our past 9 p.m. parties), and we're pretty full up when it comes to company (which means that sitting around bored doesn't always equate to "let's get a group together").

Friendship has taken on a different meaning. No longer are friends only the people I see in my classes or the only phone numbers I have memorized to call on a Saturday night. When I list off my friends, I amass people who have meant something substantial to me in my life, no matter how much we talk or see each other. I still wish the absolute best for my wonderful co-workers, my childhood buddies, and the women who have mentored me through some crazy times in my life. Before, I wouldn't have counted my young women leaders or my extended relatives as my friends, but when I see them now, my heart absolutely leaps.

For the times when I feel isolated or the evenings when I sit on the couch with my husband and think about the raucous parties of the past, all I have to do is pull out my scrapbooks and yearbooks or pull up Facebook on the computer to check in with people that I will love my whole life. When I feel uninteresting, unmotivated, or undeserving, I look through my journals and letters I've kept to remember that I'm worth something to someone - a lot of "someones." I even get to see some friends every day; Jack has become more fun than ever, making up games that he decides are only for Mommy, and Caleb still wants to watch movies with me after all these years.

And while I'll never see the days of constant, impromptu parties or feel the joy of riding around in my parents' car with high school buddies again, I have something much greater now. My friends let me serve them (that's Whitney's baby Eleanor in the photo up there!), they send me random notes that completely floor me with their kindness, and they continue to love me, even if I am the world's biggest jerk (which is more often than one might think). I don't think I'm missing much.

P.S. Sisters can't be friends, so sorry, suckers!
P.P.S. Just kidding.