Thursday, April 26, 2012

The Ripping Truth About Sneezing

This super-manly picture of Caleb needs to stay in your mind while I tell you this story.

If it doesn't, Caleb will kill me.

On Monday night, he and I put the kids to bed; I then laced up my sneakers and headed to the gym, while Caleb held down the fort. He has been supportive of my recent exercise kick and has reminded me to go each night. What a guy.

After I finished a hardcore aerobic workout on the elliptical, I returned to the house red-faced and happy. My happiness was not mirrored by Caleb—he was grimacing on the couch when I walked in.

"What's wrong?" I asked him, as I flopped next to him on the couch.

His answer surprised me.

"I hurt my side when I sneezed," he said. 

I laughed, because I had just bust my butt working out and he couldn't possibly feel as fatigued as I did. Caleb doesn't have a great track record in pain tolerance. We'll just put it that way.

The pain followed him, though, throughout the next day. He tweeted me, saying that he was going to have his BFF drop him off at the hospital after work. My reaction to that was two-fold: sadness that he was hurt and resignation that not everyone is as strong or awesome as me.

Caleb called me to pick him up from the instacare awhile later. After loading up the kids in the car, I drove the couple blocks to the hospital and saw him on a bench outside.

He then gingerly sat in the car and unfolded his tale.

After describing his pain and doing a few x-rays, Caleb received the bad news:

He had torn a muscle next to his ribs. By sneezing.

The doctor said that sneezing is a weird business, and the severity of different sneezes has been known to even break bones. Caleb was prescribed some pain medication and given instructions to be gentle on the muscle tear.

I felt terrible for writing him off and have been trying to be kind since his diagnosis.

It's still hilarious, though.

Sneezing? ...Really?

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