Thursday, July 14, 2011

Loving Myself, With the Help of Gala Darling

For those who use Facebook, quick surveys and friends letting the world know what they think about you are de rigeur. There was a survey that was popular a couple of years back, picturing several facial expressions or tv/movie characters with descriptions below each picture--I grabbed one from a friend's facebook profile to show you what one looks like.

If you forgive the anime animal bit and check out the second row from the bottom, you will see a picture of a ticked off, vein-popping expression with "The one that won't take your crap" below it. This sentiment, or something similar, can typically be found on these surveys. And I am almost always the one who is tagged with it.

And usually, this is an apt description of me. I don't mind confrontation, I hate bullies, and I see no reason for hemming and hawing.

Anecdote: When my sister Shelley got married eight months before I did, almost every wedding guest told her husband, "If you ever hurt Shelley, I will kill you/hunt you down/make your life miserable." At my wedding reception, my husband received no such threats. That hurt my feelings, because I thought that no one felt bloodlust at the thought of my pain; when I told my dad this, he laughed and told me that everyone knows I can take care of myself and provide my own smackdown on Caleb if necessary.

Anyway, I am tough and I use that to my advantage.

Except, I tough on myself most of all. This manifests itself in myriad ways, most of which aren't public. Many of my blog posts are modestly self-deprecating, at best; at worst, they are close to self-loathing, which works for stand-up comedy but not for daily living. And those are just a taste of what I put myself through each day. I brushed it off for years, claiming that everyone is their own worst critic and leaving it at that.

But I beat myself down constantly. And that's "beat" in the present tense, not in the past tense. I take crap from the biggest bully in my life and it shows. My Google search bar has seen "How do I learn to love myself" more than one time.

Enter Gala Darling and her podcast. She is a lifestyle/fashion blogger who lives in the big city; a huge part of her message is self-love and feeling comfortable with yourself, whoever that may be. I found her blog through SrslyLiz, another fashion/design blogger who is great. I happened upon Gala's blog at just the right time, because she was having a major sale on the several iterations of her podcast; I checked out the podcast topics, which include modern manners, choosing joy, and blogging, but her very first topic jumped out on me. The title is: LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF: Self-adoration, manifesting your ideal persona, channelling your inner Marie Antoinette & everything in between! I saw that and knew I had to check it out.

There are so many specific, useful practices outlined in this podcast; provoking thought points about what might be preventing one from loving themselves and homework assignments that are easy and helpful. I don't want to spoil the contents, but I do want to talk about the thing that convinced me my purchase was not in vain. Gala says that we should treat ourselves like we would our very best friend. I know my BFF is practically perfect in every way, but even if she weren't, I wouldn't call her up and outline to her every detail of her imperfections. I do that to myself almost every second of every day, though. That's not very friendly, is it?

So, I'm on my way to loving myself. I am on a journey to convince myself that I am not my own worst enemy, but my best friend. And I am using a lot of tools to do that, including this podcast. If you need a jump start to self-loving or just need a reminder of how awesome you are, I would suggest Gala Darling's wisdom. Her website is so inspiring, even if $12 for the podcast isn't in your budget. And I have decided to not take any crap from myself. I am not intimidated by the bully inside me any longer--bring it on!


  1. Good for you!! It's not easy starting to love yourself for who you are. I'm still working on it, a little every day. I definitely like the 'treat yourself how you would treat your best friend' idea. That is BRILLIANT!!

    I can't wait to hear how this journey goes.

  2. I really like this post! I may have to check out this podcast. And thanks for the shout out. LOVEY LOVES!!!