Oh, the Thinks Jacko Can Think

Jacko has a weird sense of humor.

You could probably say that about most three-year-olds, though.

I try to document all of the silly things he says, a la Deanna's "Gage Says" series. I usually use Twitter for documenting, but I thought I might combine a ton of them here for your amusement. All of these have been said in 2012.

I have a tiny, Earth (Midgard?)-conscious "Thor" on my hands. "I have to take all of this rubble from the battle to the recycling center!"

Me: "Jacko, you have very handsome eyes." Jack: "No, Mommy, I have a very handsome back!!!"

Me: "Jacko, what did you give Lucy...a smile?" Jack: "No, I gave her a piece of my mind, and I don't even know what that means!"

My son keeps promising to "take [me] DOOOOOOWN." I'd be worried, but he has done so with his hand on his hip.

Me: "Who taught you what 'goody' means?" Jacko: "My new friend BamTrash."

Jack's response to our fish dying, then being flushed: "Bad form, fish. Bad form."

Jacko, the Aquabats' 3-year-old fan: "The Bat Commander punched Darth Vader in the face, then took off his mask--he was actually Han Solo!"

I sang a little diaper changing ditty while changing Lucy today. Jack said, "Mommy, that's one of my favorite diaper changing songs ever."

Me: "But I don't WANT to go thrifting, Jacko." Him: "You said after naps we could." Me: "But that was a short, short nap." Him: "...So?"

Those receiving valentines from Jacko have some hilarious personal messages inside, including "Time for Lucy to bake a goosey" and "Bye-bye"

Jacko, trying to convince me to keep racing cars with him: "Mommy, maybe you'll win this time...? You miiiight cross the finish line first."

Me: "What name starts with J?" Jack: "...J. Jonah Jameson?" Me: "I was thinking Jack, but that works too." #SpidermanAlphabet

Jack: "Mom, I have an idea! Let's paint our house black." Me: "Oh...don't you like green?" J: "Yes, but I like black. And white. And yellow"

Jacko just called my niece "Girlicious." I can honestly say that I was stunned into silence by his awesomeness.

My kids are drugged out. Codeined Jacko is watching The Avengers, and I keep hearing him talk about "Hot Guy," aka Hawkeye.