So Dang Brilliant

A Few Reasons Why I Love You

2012-02-14T08:39:00.000-07:00

You guys know me. You get me.

When Caleb and I first started dating, he did not get me.

He did, however, try really hard to do what he thought I would like. He lavished me with fancy dates and delicious treats, he spoke to me with meek kindness, and he got his Lovey Dovey on.

I am not a fan of Lovey Dovey. But you guys already knew that. Like I said, you and I just get it.

For our first Valentine's Day together, Caleb put together a small jar of reasons why he loves me. Because we had only been dating for a few months by then, many of the things radiate the newness of our relationship. I have kept this love token for six years now, and I pull it out sometimes to roll around in that feeling of dizzying love.

You can see he printed out small slips of paper, numbered them (nerd alert!), and cut them out individually. There are something like 75 reasons why he loves me, though I hope that I have given him well over one hundred reasons by now. 25 isn't too much for the last five years, right?

The printed reasons range from sappy to practical. You can see in the foreground that he likes the way I cook, proving that the old adage still has some reality sticking to it. And in the background? I will let you decide if that's old-school romance or fiery hot passion talking.

Valentine's Day now means scoring a babysitter for the night before (seeing The Vow was simultaneously the best and worst thing I've done in awhile), as well as waking up and telling our littlest Valentines that they can now open their red foiled candy. I also made sure to give Caleb some extra long kisses before he left for work.

I may not be into Lovey Dovey, but I am not a cold-hearted monster.

But you guys already knew that. Swoon.

Bony Bumps in the Road

2012-02-13T18:21:00.000-07:00

This little Lu is 13 months old.

And earlier today, I thought that there might be complications to her seeing any other milestones.

You see, she recently developed a bony bump on the back of her head. I brought it up to our doctor at her well-baby appointment last week, and she referred us to receive an ultrasound. Just to be safe, of course.

Last night, I joked around with Caleb, saying, "I don't really feel too worried. How dumb will I feel tomorrow when Lucy has a brain tumor or juvenile cancer." I believe I ate a bite of ramen after I said that. I didn't feel that deep-in-the-bones fear that precedes something bad.

Cut to this morning, when me and two nurses were holding Lucy belly-down during the ultrasound. It turns out that little loves don't care for getting ultrasounds on the back of their heads—who knew.

I slept poorly last night, so instead of adding my calming cooing to that of the nurses', I could only focus on the computer screen with the interior images. There was definitely something causing that bony bump. I could not wrap my brain around what was happening and felt completely numb. At one point, I even complimented one of the nurses' electric blue nail polish; I tried to make it smooth by adding a "I know this isn't a typical time to say this, but I really like..." in front of it.

The radiologist assured me that it wasn't a cyst in Lucy's head. She tried to add some encouraging words before finishing our appointment with, "I will admit...I'm mystified."

The hours that followed, though few, were agonizing. Jack was moaning and groaning about every single thing and Lucy was still recovering from the trauma of the ultrasound. I found out that someone from my hometown committed suicide and was found in a gruesome way, bringing that family's suicide count to two children (the other was her older brother, who I had a crush on during high school). And I'll be honest, I am feeling a little tender about Whitney Houston's unfortunate death.

Add all of that to the last few months of various tragic happenings around me, and I was so angry at the world.

And then I got a phone call.

There is a benign lump in Lucy's head. The radiologist said that it was causing a divot in Lucy's skull, but that it did not need to be removed at this time. My doctor suggested that we take it out anyway, since the last thing anyone needs is a divoted head.

I feel so blessed that it was nothing ultra serious. For a little while today, it felt like everything I dealt with was super serious. I don't need anything extra serious in my life. Serious serious serious.

I've Got Mad Love: Two English Majors Talking Biology

2012-02-12T10:28:00.000-07:00

When last we met for "I've Got Mad Love," I was about to chat up Caleb in order to make fun of him. You know, like you do. I thought I was pretty bad-A.

Obviously.

The Biology poster project split up our class into groups of three, and of course, Megan and I ended up in the same group; we decided to study the causes and effects of Osteoporosis since it affects women more than it does men. Our poster was awesome and our information was accurate—we got an A, and it wasn't just for effort.

The posters were all set up in the garden court of the Wilkinson student center, because each member of the group had to present the information to the T.A. I accompanied Megan during the first hour of the presentation—my presentation time was the second hour, and I was trying to avoid studying since it was about to be finals week. We visited the student center's Jamba Juice between our presentation times and chatted about how boring it all had been.

When what to my wondering eyes should appear that Loud-Talking Boy walking into the garden court. I slurped up the last of my smoothie and exclaimed to Megan, "I am going to chat up that kid and get some really funny stuff to laugh about later—we won't get to see him again since it's the last day of class!" Megan laughed and I went to set up my presentation.

And as fate would have it, my poster had been set up RIGHT NEXT TO THAT KID.

I got my major flirt on. All I remember was that I was extremely charming, engagingly inquisitive, and laughing on the inside because this guy was so funny. My memory isn't too specific when it comes to details.

Here's what Caleb remembers (paraphrased in my own words because he's sleeping as I type this): Caleb was chatting with me and he thought, "This girl is cute. I should ask her what her name is." The longer we chatted, the more he had that thought. Eventually, that thought evolved into, "This girl is cute. I should ask her what her name is, and if she'd like to go to dinner sometime." And he did neither of those things, for the record.

Anyway, when our hour was up, he and I exited the student center together. I wished him luck on his finals and we went our separate ways. Both of us walked home—I slowly came to terms with the fact that the kid (whose name I found out was Caleb) was actually pretty cool and Caleb kicked himself for not even finding out my name, let alone asking me on a date.

You know, as you do.

This moment is the precursor to the sitcom-type mix-ups that only come with young love. So, hold on to your hats and glasses, because this here's the wildest ride in the wilderness.

Being "Internet Cool" With Nova Rella

2012-02-09T09:40:00.001-07:00

Hey everyone! I'm here filling in for Holly while she's away. And I want to talk a minute about blogging, and the weirdness that comes with putting yourself on the internet.

Remember back like fifteen years ago when the internet first got popular and your mom had to tell you not to give out your home address to NIN420 because he might be a crazy person? No? Just me? (I did give him our P.O. box number and he totally sent me a mix tape). Who could have predicted back then how integrated our lives would have become with the screen in front of us now?

I love the Internet. I can talk to a person in Mexico and a friend in Denmark simultaneously. I am kind of a weirdo, yet I have friends all over the world who see life the same way I do. It really is amazing. There are countless amazing ideas, artists, and performers out there to see, and you can see them while sitting on your butt in your own house!

Lately though, the Internet has made me feel self-conscious in the weirdest way. You guys, I am NOT cool. I am the girl who goes to the library and reads FOR FUN. I love being alone. I love the dorkiest linguistics facts and think that learning is cool. I am medium-attractive, and still get zits even though I'm almost thirty years old. Buuuuut....according to Internet standards...I am cool.

My 'real life' job is "tattoo shop manager." So yeah, I get paid to hang out in a tattoo shop which is amazingly fun...but my job is really to be the nerd and the level head in the shop. I sterilize their equipment and order supplies. I clean the bathroom and am a cashier and a secretary. But somehow, that makes me Internet cool. And it's honestly starting to seep into my life. People are starting to come into the tattoo shop because of my blog! I've even had people come by just to say hello. It's so flattering but so weird. I just don't know if they like me because I'm actually an interesting person, or because my Internet persona is.

This stuff really makes me wonder...if I was anonymous and faceless...would I have this many readers? The Internet is so predictable sometimes. When I write about my knee tattoo I get twice as many hits as when I post about a real life person who is absolutely amazing. What the what, Internet? And don't get me started on pictures of my bulldog. Bulldogs are Internet gold, everyone. Want to get tumblr famous? Get a bulldog and a camera and go to town.

I honestly feel like I can write much better than I do on my own blog. But I don't because pictures of tattoos are easier and faster and more popular. I save it for ... for what? The eventual book my real life friends keep goading me to write? Will that ever happen? Maybe but I can't find a medium I am comfortable with. Microsoft Word does not inspire me. I need more dimension. This website inspires ten thousand times more creativity in me than the average website. (Warning: if you are a stationary-o-phile you will be sucked down the rabbit hole for hours if you click on that link.)

Do you think Internet fame is real? Are any of you tumblr famous? Are you eventually going to write a book? I'm interested to hear your opinions on this issue.

Jillian Michaels Galore and Little Penelope Lane

2012-02-09T08:29:00.000-07:00

The generosity of the Internet astounds me.

Well, more specifically, the people on the Internet astound me.

I am in need of guest posts for next week, and some great friends have reached out in order to help me. But I still need more! If you are willing to write a guest post about anything, please leave a comment or email me at luxurious(at)gmail(dot)com.

Another fantastic thing about people on the Internet is that they do giveaways sometimes. The website Diets in Review has an extremely active Twitter account, and they recently did a Giveaway A Day series on their Twitter page. I was fortunate enough to win the Jillian Michaels prize pack—featuring Jillian Michaels' book Unlimited (which I already read and loved!) and her newest workout DVD Extreme Shed & Shred. The book has already seen a lot of use and the DVD scared me half to death after one use, but I am still grateful for my luck at winning it all.

And yet another way I know that people on the Internet rock is by also knowing them in real life. If you remember my post about Sarah Hull: Warrior Mom, you'll know that I think she's just the bee's knees. You might also remember that she has an accessories business named Little Penelope Lane. Because she is ultra gracious, Sarah sent me these lovely headbands and hair clips as a "Thank You" for my post. The whole family has already had a headband night (sorry to out you, Caleb), and Lucy's hair is still a little too wispy for the clips. But do you guys see that Minnie Mouse clip? Sarah knows me and my Disney-lovin' family well!

You really need to check out her shop, guys. For realsies.

I have always known that the Internet and I were going to be BFFs, ever since the days of dial-up. But I guess I didn't realize that the Internet would give me some BFFs I wouldn't have been able to reach otherwise.

And if you are interested in guest blogging for So Dang Brilliant, contact me anytime.

February Sponsor Links & Love

2012-02-08T09:14:00.001-07:00

Nova of Four-Eyes Rella writes with some serious chops. She also takes pictures like a bat out of hell. Or something. She's just cool.

Victoria of Batzy did a mind-blowing portrait of Nova, and I think I'm in love.
A quick-lapse video of graffiti done right is so nice, you'll watch it twice (or 8 times like me).

Kelly of Living Apockylypse is a "geeky gal chasing after her crafty dreams." I think she's cute as a button, is what she is.

Can't Stitch a Lick T-Shirt Scarves have me all lusty after not being busty. My current body type isn't made for fancy scarves, but I bet yours is!
Try crafting in a group sometime; Kelly says it's good for the soul, and I can't disagree. I will love my group from "Scrap Mania" at Archiver's forever!

You guys know I have a crush on Deanna of Delirious Rhapsody. What you may not know is that the feeling is mutual (I hope!).

The Gage Says series is easily the best thing on the Internet—an amalgamation of four-year-old phrases like "I'm out of this band. This band sounds so bad. I quit." and "Let me tell you something. I CAN grow up to be an Asian man if I want to. I can be anything!" There's something fantastic every week.
Enter the TOMS giveaway Deanna is throwing to thank her fantastic readers, a group in which I totally am included.

Vanessa of Little Gray Pixel is on my "Love to Meet Up" list of online friends. She is also full of unwavering confidence, which deserves a few snaps.

Thinking about going meatless? Here are some happy results of one month of a lacto-ovo vegetarian diet.
Can't decide what picture to add to your Facebook Timeline? Add this free graphic that lets folks know you're a friendly sort.

Are you a fan of crafting? Or maybe you like vintage shopping on etsy? Check out Olivia of Project Random

Dolls for boys can be tough to make, so get inspired by these robot-riffic and Spiderman-tastic ones.
Are your goals for 2012 panning out? Let's bug Olivia to see if her 2012 goals are going well.

Caleb of 2412 needs no introduction to the SDB crowd, except to say that he is a lot more fun than his sponsor picture lets on. What can I say, he chose this one.

I am always needing new music to listen to—too bad Caleb always steals my favorites to make his own playlist.
Reading a book with one of the most handsome and compelling men of all time in it is a little intimidating for Caleb.

Too Close for Comfort

2012-02-06T10:13:00.002-07:00

I love him. I do.

I promise.

But lately, he stands too close to me, talks too much to me, and needs too much of me. I feel like every time I turn around, it's JackJACKJack.

This weekend was a breaking point for me. In addition to my own misgivings about my appearance and my behavior, I had to label myself as a bad parent. Maybe I was just a bad parent for those couple days, at least.

When I tried to do my workout video, he was right there with me. I literally had him at my elbow when I would put the clothes in the dryer. And he consistently needed me to be his personal slave: "Mommy, hold my drink." "I can't reach my graham cracker on the counter—go get it!" "Mommy! Stop what you are doing and play Cars 2 with me nooooooooooooooooow!"

And I snapped.

I cried for awhile, I put myself on time out, and I took a long nap. All of those remedies have not fixed my ailments, however. This morning has been just as difficult as the last few days—the chocolate milk is not made fast enough, the option to run around sans diaper is the only acceptable one, the lack of pizza for breakfast is a tragedy. Even as I type this, I can't move my left arm because he is squeezed right next to me.

In a perfect world, I would find a few days to take a trip by myself. I would do nothing fancy or wild—my vacation would consist solely of silence. There would be no random gurgling to replace speaking or fits about ill-timed entrances into a room.

I don't want to say my sanity is at sake here. But there are moments where it feels that way.

Tell me I'm not alone in needing Serious Alone Time.

Have you ever taken a long-term "Just You" vacation? Did you love it?

Winner of the Week of Recklessnes ('Cause You Know it Wasn't Me)

2012-02-04T09:34:00.001-07:00

Thanks again to all of the entrants into the Week of Recklessness giveaway. Doesn't matter if you loved it or hated it, it was fun to have you along for the ride.

The winner of the Dogbone Art giveaway will receive:

The Luurve Monkey Valentine's Day card set


The Joe Strawberry Cupcake magnet

The Cupcake Pirate vinyl sticker

And the Robots in Love jersey knit scarf

And the winner, according to random.org, is...

Congratulations, Deanna! I'll be in contact with you shortly to get all of your info.

Week of Recklessness: Day Five—Hate Shopping, a.k.a. Retail Therapy

2012-02-03T19:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back to the Week of Recklessness!

Every day this week, I will choose an undesirable thing to do and chronicle it here each evening. I promise not to do anything to negatively affect my health, but I cannot say the same about my pride or dignity.

Week of Recklessness is a blog series that chronicles a week's worth of ill-advised decisions. Please do not try this at home, unless you are willing to wreck with your health, pride, or dignity.

Click here to see: Day One, Day Two, Day Three, Day Four

I usually try to promote self-betterment, but I also believe that you have to let loose every once in awhile.

To thank you for going on this self-indulgent journey with me, I am going to be giving away over $25 worth of items from Dogbone Art handmade goods at the end of the week. The winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, February 4th. Please please PLEASE enter this giveaway!

On each day of recklessness, leave a comment to get an entry. That's a total of five entries!

You also get a bonus entry for adding me on Google Reader—leave a comment saying you did!

Day Five: Hate Shopping, a.k.a Retail Therapy

I confess that this week has been mostly about exacting revenge on myself and others for some perceived wrongdoings. But if there were never any miscommunications or differing of opinions, what would romantic comedies be about, then?

Someone said some harsh words to me this week. I am not made of Teflon and those words cut me pretty deeply. My first response was to be hurt, my next response was to examine their words to see if there was truth in them that I could use, and my last response was:

"This is the week of recklessness—Imma get my hate shopping on!"

I have a secret method of mixing shopping and catharsis. Most people would label this as "Retail Therapy," or buying things to assuage pain or suffering. I would argue that my method is not so much that as it is Hate Shopping.

Hate Shopping is when I am offended or wronged, I buy something (usually wearable), and dedicate that purchase to my offender. Each time I use the item or wear the clothing, I think about that person and how angry I was when I made the purchase. Instead of making myself forget the pain with whatever I buy, I cement those feelings into something tangible.

The above shoes are Blowfish Shoes, which are dedicated to this week's critic. Each time I wear these shoes, I am going to stomp around fabulously and remember the caustic things that were said. And you know what? I will still be fabulous. I will still be awesome. I will still have mammoth accomplishments and extreme drive.

And my critic? Can suck it. Big Time.

So Dang Brilliant Encouragement Round-Up

2012-02-03T08:18:00.002-07:00

Photo by Paige Evans

Week of Recklessness: Day Four—Trying on Jeans from High School

2012-02-02T20:39:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back to the Week of Recklessness!

Every day this week, I will choose an undesirable thing to do and chronicle it here each evening. I promise not to do anything to negatively affect my health, but I cannot say the same about my pride or dignity.

Week of Recklessness is a blog series that chronicles a week's worth of ill-advised decisions. Please do not try this at home, unless you are willing to wreck with your health, pride, or dignity.

Click here to see: Day One, Day Two, Day Three

I usually try to promote self-betterment, but I also believe that you have to let loose every once in awhile.

To thank you for going on this self-indulgent journey with me, I am going to be giving away over $25 worth of items from Dogbone Art handmade goods at the end of the week. The winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, February 4th. Please please PLEASE enter this giveaway!

On each day of recklessness, leave a comment to get an entry. That's a total of five entries!

You also get a bonus entry for adding me on Google Reader—leave a comment saying you did!

Day Four—Trying on Jeans from High School

This speaks for itself.

I used to be 17. And even though I wasn't the most svelte in my class, I still had the body of a teenager.

And now it's almost 10 years later and I have had two babies.

Today's trying on of my high school jeans did not go well. I couldn't take a picture of it that didn't highlight my underwear, so you're going to have to trust me on this one.

But you know, I lived through that moment. Whatever body I have now has gone through a lot more than my 17-year-old body. I know very few adult women who fit into their clothes from high school, and the ones who do have worked hard to do so. All of this is the mature response to this situation.

The Week of Recklessness response?

This sucks—big time.

SDB Interviews: Vanessa of Little Gray Pixel

2012-02-02T08:00:00.000-07:00

When you feel like the grass is greener on the other side of anything, I recommend hitting up the Little Gray Pixel blog.

There you will see that things are definitely a brighter shade of green in Vanessa's neck of the woods. Her blog is full of beautiful photos, stories about her fantastic family, and link after link of cute plus-sized clothes. And her love for the Beatles tips the fabulous scale—she even recently had a Beatles Week on her blog.

But instead of making you feel like an outsider looking in, Vanessa invites her readers with open arms into her world. The familiar tone of her writing lets you know that she is speaking right to you; her life is cool and accessible, but she thinks that you're cool too!

Here's a taste of what I mean. This is all about Vanessa in her own words:

Hi there. I'm Vanessa.

I was born and raised in the Midwest. I lived in Myrtle Beach for four years. And now I live in Los Angeles. I am a publication designer by trade.

My husband is H, martial artist extraordinaire. H and I have been married for 13 years. We finally added the baby carriage in January 2011, when we welcomed Baby Alexa. She is the apple of our collective eye.

Things I like: taking photographs, writing novels, baking, thrifting, watching really bad dance movies, fawning over fashion and pretty design, gelato ... to name a few.

I am a Vanessa mega-fan and I hope that you will become one as well. Here are a few questions I had for her that resulted in some pretty fascinating answers.

1. If you could only use alliteration to describe your blog, what letter would you choose and how would you use it?

V, because it's underused. Vanessa's vivid, vivacious voice. I also like the words vex and vicious, but they don't really apply in this case.

2. I grew up as a southern California girl and lived in the Midwest for a hot second. You grew up as a Midwestern girl and now live in Los Angeles. What are some pros and cons to each location, and which do you like the best (for now)?

Pros to living in the Midwest: lower cost of living and being near family

Cons to living in the Midwest: weather (it's super hot in the summer, brrr in the winter and windy year-round)

Pros to living in L.A.: weather (it's beautiful and mild year-round), the beach is RIGHT HERE

Cons to living in L.A.: higher cost of living, heavy traffic and being far away from family

If we could move all of our family out here, I would easily choose L.A.

3. Your 32 Before 33 list starts off with a mention of your novel. Please tell the world about your novel, your process of creating it, and how your goal of promoting your novel is going.

My novel. It's been a work in progress for about 10 years, but as I've detailed in this post and this post, I only spent around six to seven months actively writing it. After my first stab at it I shopped it around to literary agents and didn't get a bite. I let it sit for seven years before I came back to it and gutted it like a fish. There are currently query letters "out there," waiting to be rejected or *PLEASE* picked up.

The book itself. Hmm. In a nutshell: The protagonist is a broke, drug-addicted, flunking college student whose future looks bleak. In a desperation move, she pins her hopes on stalking her favorite rock band. She believes that sleeping with the front man will lead to a seat on the tour bus and, natch, a better life.

Here's a book cover I designed if you're a visual person like me.

4. Your little Alexa is a dreamboat. How has her arrival been reflected in your blog, your social life, and even your day job?

Alexa has changed my life in ways I can't even describe. If you look at my blog before Alexa and my blog after Alexa, there's no comparison. Before Alexa my writing was largely external. I shared pretty things I liked. I talked about some things I was passionate about. But you never saw photos of me or my family before Alexa was born. Becoming a parent made me more at ease with myself. I feel less encumbered now. Life is too short to NOT put yourself out there, you know? I want my legacy to be out there, even on something as small as a blog, for Alexa to look at when she's older and say, "My mom wrote this."

On the other hand, my social life could use some CPR. We rarely do things without the little one, and date nights are few and far between. Our friends are lovely and babysit when we ask them to, but I'd like to hire a sitter soon so we can actually spend time with our friends! Go out for a beer. Gossip about movies.

Being a mom has made my day job seem less ... urgent. Does that make sense? The things that used to bother/excite me still do, just on a lesser scale. I find myself preoccupied with baby girl most of the day. It's hard to leave her in daycare. I see her in the morning because I work swing shift, and I wait on pins and needles until H sends me that text at 5 p.m. that says "Hi Mommy," accompanied by a photo of Miss Alexa.

5. As an edgy larger lady myself, I have been agog and inspired at how confident you come across in your blog. Is that confidence something that has been carefully, but purposefully built?
Thank you for the compliment! I wish I had a magnificent answer for this, but the truth is that I can't remember a time when I wasn't confident. I was a chubby child but I do not recall being aware of it. The first time someone called me fat was in fourth grade, but I retorted pretty fast to that jerk. I always had a sharp tongue and quick wit. I was always loud and ambitious. I played softball and basketball and volleyball. I acted in school plays. I got straight A's. So there was that natural confidence. But above all, I had my parents' support. Weight never entered the equation. They were always the first to tell me how talented and smart and beautiful I was. I appreciate this even moreso now that I'm a mom. I hope to instill in Alexa the same unwavering confidence my parents cultivated in me.

Check Vanessa out on Twitter or Facebook and see her California scenery photography at her Etsy shop.

Week of Recklessness: Day Three—Tattletale on a Snotty Nurse

2012-02-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back to the Week of Recklessness!

Every day this week, I will choose an undesirable thing to do and chronicle it here each evening. I promise not to do anything to negatively affect my health, but I cannot say the same about my pride or dignity.

Week of Recklessness is a blog series that chronicles a week's worth of ill-advised decisions. Please do not try this at home, unless you are willing to wreck with your health, pride, or dignity.

Click here to see: Day One, Day Two

I usually try to promote self-betterment, but I also believe that you have to let loose every once in awhile.

To thank you for going on this self-indulgent journey with me, I am going to be giving away over $25 worth of items from Dogbone Art handmade goods at the end of the week. The winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, February 4th. Please please PLEASE enter this giveaway!

On each day of recklessness, leave a comment to get an entry. That's a total of five entries!

You also get a bonus entry for adding me on Google Reader—leave a comment saying you did!

Day Three: Tattletale on a Snotty Nurse

The girls in that picture look pretty happy, right? Lucy and I were so young then.

We were too young, in fact.

Because Lucy was born the day after Christmas, the weather was pretty frightful. And the "No Longer a Baby Inside Keeping Me Warm" feeling was not delightful. I was constantly freezing for the first few days after I had Lucy—I kept my hospital room toasty warm!

Several people of the hospital staff were ultra magical during that hazy time in my memory, but there was one nurse who stood out as possibly the Worst Human Being Ever.

One night when all of the visitors had gone for the evening, I was alone in my room watching Minute to Win It softly. From the hallway, I hear a nurse say, "I hate going in there. It's so stuffy and awful." Not a minute later, Yvonne walks into my room and makes nice with me. After she left, it occurs to me that the "stuffy and awful" room she was referring to was mine. My post-pregnancy hormones swelled in anger and I have held onto it for over a year now.

She was standing right outside my door! If you are going to talk smack about someone, I recommend doing it outside of that person's earshot. I also suggest not dissing a woman who recently had a baby—girl be crazy!

Today I wrote an angrily-worded letter, recounting this story about Yvonne and adding additional evidence about Yvonne's bad behavior (thanks to her poor care of my nephew Theo while he was there). I also mentioned that if she had been generally surly, I might have let it slide; but because she got her Fake Happy on with me, I knew she wasn't just having a bad day. I recommended that Yvonne be spoken with about her behavior and encouraged to lower her voice if she has anything negative to say about a patient.

Would I have written this letter in any other mindset? No way! I actively give people the benefit of the doubt and never want to get someone fired or reprimanded unless it's absolutely necessary. But Yvonne's lack of proper feeding of my nephew pushed me over the top. I am simply calling this act Quality Control.

And you know I'll be throwing her some shade if I ever pass her in the hospital hallways.

Week of Recklessness: Day Two—PostSecret Reveal

2012-01-31T19:00:00.000-07:00

Welcome Back to the Week of Recklessness!

Every day this week, I will choose an undesirable thing to do and chronicle it here each evening. I promise not to do anything to negatively affect my health, but I cannot say the same about my pride or dignity.

Week of Recklessness is a blog series that chronicles a week's worth of ill-advised decisions. Please do not try this at home, unless you are willing to wreck with your health, pride, or dignity.

Click here to see: Day One

I usually try to promote self-betterment, but I also believe that you have to let loose every once in awhile.

To thank you for going on this self-indulgent journey with me, I am going to be giving away over $25 worth of items from Dogbone Art handmade goods at the end of the week. The winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, February 4th.

On each day of recklessness, leave a comment to get an entry. That's a total of five entries!

You also get a bonus entry for adding me on Google Reader—leave a comment saying you did!

Day Two—PostSecret Reveal

The idea of PostSecret is to express your inner feelings in an artistic and anonymous way. The anonymous portion of the project is so important to its founder, Frank Warren, that he was willing to close down the popular PostSecret app because he was unwilling to make the users register. Frank receives thousands of postcards in his own mailbox, and he posts them around twenty of them every Sunday. Nothing but the scanned postcards and his address are added—no editorial, no nothing.

There are similar websites that chronicle people's secrets, with explanations and stories. But something about the excess of that turns me off—I like to put my own spin on what each secret means. Therefore, I have decided to be reckless today and show you some secrets of mine.

Blurred secrets, that is.

Therefore, if you see a secret that looks like one of these on the PostSecret site, you will know it's mine. Until then, though, enjoy trying to read between the lines.

Jetter-Loo is Coming to Town

2012-01-31T08:38:00.000-07:00

The arrival of Baby Theo meant that family members flocked to the great state of Utah to see him. One of those family members was my beloved nephew Jett. His name may sound familiar from the Jett Be Nimble video or my assertion that he and Jacko are BFFs.

But what you probably don't remember is that Jett is only three. In the above photo, he could easily pass for a kindergartner. Well, one who is going swimming, anyway.

Most of Jett's visit was comprised of he and Jacko running around and just being boys. We visited the fanciest McDonald's Playland ever—twice. Every sidewalk was lit up by flashes of red flickering light, thanks to the boys' light-up shoes; Jett wanted Jacko to put on those shoes for him. Everything that Jack did, Jett wanted to do too. It's a good thing that Jack used that power for good, and not evil.

Jett couldn't believe that Lucy was walking around. Lucy is forever frozen in his mind as a newborn baby that he can hold; he even exclaimed that the Lucy Giant was "so tiny" at one point during the trip. It's a good thing that Baby Theo was around to fill Jett's baby void.

Jett is moving to Argentina this spring, thanks to the international transfer of his daddy. My heart breaks the more I think about it, because even though we can still Skype, there won't be these few times when the boys can play together.

Whenever Jett moves closer to us again, I imagine that he will appear to be a graying old man, with the way his looks overshoot his actual age. And no matter how he looks, I will hug him and tell him how much I love him.

Week of Recklessness: Day One—Write A Letter to an Ex

2012-01-30T19:00:00.000-07:00

As I was telling my friend Maryam this weekend, I believe that marriage has chilled me out.

It may be that I am simply chilling out with age, and that just happens to run concurrently with being married, but I would like to think that Caleb has had a calming influence on me. I used to be all bluster and passion—everything I felt, I felt strongly and all of society's propriety was sidelined because of it. The fight of the teenage brain against The Man is always a hard one.

These feelings have been stirred in me recently, however. All I want to do is burn tons of bridges and wield the mighty sword of passion against all of my foes. Thankfully, I am a little older and wiser than I used to be. Usually, I suppress these urges and work that energy out in positive ways.

But not this week!

Welcome to the Week of Recklessness!

Every day this week, I will choose an undesirable thing to do and chronicle it here each evening. I promise not to do anything to negatively affect my health, but I cannot say the same about my pride or dignity.

Week of Recklessness is a blog series that chronicles a week's worth of ill-advised decisions. Please do not try this at home, unless you are willing to wreck with your health, pride, or dignity.

I usually try to promote self-betterment, but I also believe that you have to let loose every once in awhile.

To thank you for going on this self-indulgent journey with me, I am going to be giving away over $25 worth of items from Dogbone Art handmade goods at the end of the week. The winner will be randomly chosen on Saturday, February 4th.

On each day of recklessness, leave a comment to get an entry. That's a total of five entries!

You also get a bonus entry for adding me on Google Reader—leave a comment saying you did!

Day One—Write A Letter to an Ex

The worst way to start your day is by dreaming you had gotten together with "The One Who Got Away." For me, that one is named Loren. I have mentioned him before, explaining that I was kind of a jerk to him. He broke up with me after I left for college and I haven't seen or heard from him since. According to my calculations, that's about eight and a half years.

Try carrying a torch for that long...see how tired your arm gets.

I have obviously moved on enough to date other boys, get married, and have kids. But I know in my heart that if I even saw him at the grocery store, I would faint—my feelings are still that strong for him. He is my Beatles, my Michael Jackson, my Justin Bieber.

Every now and again in those eight years, I have lost my marbles and written him a letter. It's usually very measured, very grown-up, very "just wanted to reconnect." I have yet to get a response, or even a sign that he didn't throw the letters directly in the trash without opening them.

This time, the letter is coming straight from the broken heart of an 18-year-old girl. Each paragraph is chock full of "you ruined my life" and "what did I do to make you stop loving me"; I may even get brave and spray the letter with the Calgon I used to wear when we were dating.

Does he deserve this? I don't think so. Loren's life has been hard-ish since I last saw him, and I know that he is a kind person in his heart. And why would I lay my leftover angst at his feet when there is literally nothing he can do about it now?

But this letter is still going in the mail.

I hope he reads it this time, and I hope he feels really, really bad.

Pop Culture Loves: Terriers

2012-01-30T08:34:00.001-07:00

My girl Megan was a Veronica Mars super-freak. The tiny, blonde private eye excited Megan in a way that no other television character did, and Meg took pleasure in trying to get me to watch the show with her.

I told her, "I don't really do private eye shows."

Fast forward to 2011, when I gorged myself on all three seasons of Veronica Mars in a matter of weeks thanks to Instant Netflix. That show is fan-flipping-tastic; I fell hard over that show and practically breathed with the characters through every episode.

I have not had a show thrill me like that since then. Especially not a P.I. show set in a beach town with flawed characters.

Enter Terriers. It meets all of those criteria.

Donal Logue (Grounded for Life, Life) and Michael Raymond-James (True Blood) starred in the FX series in 2011; they portrayed rag-tag private investigators who got mixed up in a huge conspiracy and used not-so-legal means to see justice through.

The great folks at the Extra Hot Great podcast suggested watching this show when it first aired, but it's obvious that I'm not a very good listener. I waited until it was already cancelled, then put on Instant Netflix to watch it. Even though I don't have a Nielson ratings box, I wish I had supported this great show in its initial run.

I'll admit that Donal Logue is definitely my "type," as in I think he's really handsome. But the emotional depth of his character Hank has made him the co-star in many of my dreams lately; Hank is a former cop who got kicked off the force due to his drunkard ways. After he got sober, he realized that he drove everything good in his life away. The show chronicles the rebuilding of his life and his stumbles along the way.

Michael Raymond-James portrays Britt, a former breaking & entering criminal who went straight after meeting the girl of his dreams; Britt becomes Hank's partner in a private investigation firm and takes over the more shady parts of their cases, such as planting evidence and climbing through doggie doors. If I had to choose a favorite aspect of Britt, it would definitely be his penchant for hoodies. Whenever Britt feels any sort of emotion, be it melancholy or thrilled, he puts his hood on and looks dreamy doing it.

This show is separate from other crime procedurals because the over-arching crime story is almost second to the exploration of these complex characters. The fact that it was a cable TV show gave it the flexibility to go into the grittier parts of Hank and Britt's lives, so make sure that people with sensitive eyes aren't watching it with you.

Even though the season was only 13 episodes, I felt like I took a complete ride with these guys. The series finale is immensely satisfying— minus the fact, as Joe Reid says, that it was the series finale.

So, if you loved Veronica Mars and want to know how grown-ups might go about the same line of work, I completely recommend watching Terriers. Or maybe you don't think you "do private eye shows." Give this show one episode to get you hooked—even the first five minutes are charming and gripping.

Though, beware: I had a Terriers hangover after watching the entire series in a weekend.

A Tainted Morning, or Dang You Dreams

2012-01-29T08:42:00.000-07:00

Source

I hate waking up from a bad dream, then instantly being thrown into having to be a parent.

This morning, I woke up from a realistic dream that Caleb and I had decided to get a divorce. Lucy was crying in her crib and needed to be soothed; luckily, her morning routine is predictable, and this morning was no different. As I got her some milk and started some PBS Kids shows, I looked for concrete evidence that my split was just a dream. The house seemed to be in order, with no books thrown or counters dramatically cleared. My wedding ring was still on my finger. All appeared to be well.

In another life, I would have had that dream, woken up, and gone back to sleep to replace it with a happier dream. Erasing those subconscious feelings are much easier when you aren't changing diapers or trying to find a clean bottle.

The emotions from that dream are so raw that I am letting Caleb sleep in today while I try to shake them off. Every time this happens, I wish I were one of those people who didn't remember their dreams.

Today has started off really melancholy. That's all I'm saying.

A Review of L&R's Better Blog Content Workbook

2012-01-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

I was one of the big winners of the 2012 Lemon and Raspberry Blog Party. Each prize offered was better than the last, but I definitely had my eye on the Better Blog Content Workbook.

And look at that—I won!

A more in-depth companion to the free Better Blog Content workshop, the workbook focuses on helping you get the most out of your blogging. The workbook offers hard-hitting questions at the end of each of the 13 chapters—these are not included in the free workshop and couldn't be any more vital in getting the most out of each chapter.

I have amassed a list of the things I loved about it, plus a few things that I think might be a drawback for some people.

Pros

Pretty comprehensive for beginners and still informative for the more seasoned blogger.
Content is clear, though maybe not concise. There are a lot of words going on here.
Great blogging "prompts" without being too kitschy or obvious.
There are examples in each chapter from prominent and lesser-known blogs alike.
Focuses on original content/writing—I am such a big believer in this!
Not trying to sell anything additional to you.
Each chapter also ends with a list of helpful links related to the chapter's topic.

Cons

"Comprehensive" can also mean overwhelming—don't get this workbook unless you are serious about wanting to improve your blogging.
One point of view—if you aren't a writer or don't want your blog to be "that kind of blog," this may not be for you. If you want to recycle content from other places on the Internet or just put up pretty pictures, check out something else.
The fact that Amy Schubert isn't a blogging superstar may make you question her expertise; I personally like good advice no matter who it's from, but I understand the idea of "Big Advice from Big People."

Around this time last year, I purchased the Blog Love e-course from Elsie Larson (the mastermind behind A Beautiful Mess and one of my favorite crafters). At $32, Blog Love is more expensive than the Better Blog Content workbook; the 22% higher price could make a huge difference in your budget. I loved going through that course and I learned a lot. Below is a list of comparisons that could help you decide which product to purchase in bettering your blog.

Better Blog Content Workbook Compared to Blog Love e-course

The workbook is less expensive, but is also from a less "notable" author.
PDF versus website—the workbook is offered in PDF form, whereas the e-course is a private-access website.
Words versus graphics—Amy's workbook is all about the writing, giving you the best tips for blogging, but Elsie's e-course is conventionally prettier.
Each product has similar content. Which way you learn best (reading or visual aids) could determine which one is best for you.

The price of this workbook was perfect for me (free!), but I believe that the bang for your buck is incredible at the price. If one of your New Year's resolutions was to get your blog on in 2012, check out Amy Schubert's awesome Better Blog Content workbook.

SDB Interviews: Paige of Chris and Paige

2012-01-26T08:00:00.000-07:00

Do you have a friend or colleague who is just a freak of nature?

My freak of nature spells her name t-a-l-e-n-t and c-r-e-a-t-i-v-e and b-e-a-u-t-i-f-u-l.

Or maybe just P-A-I-G-E. As in Chris and Paige.

When I worked at Archiver's scrapbook store, my crafting ineptitude ran into a Jolly Creative Giant named Paige. I will admit that I thought she hated my guts, because homegirl is really quiet. Though we worked together there for a few months, we really became fast friends when I began working with her at Northridge Publishing. Being together on the editorial staff of magazines like Scrapbook Trends, Simply Handmade, and Cards really gave us a chance to get to know each other.

I found out that she doesn't hate my guts, for one thing.

It also came to light that Paige was born to bring art into the world. She is the King Midas of crafting (want to see drop dead gorgeous scrapbooking?), the Little Train that Could of book binding, and ...the Stephanie Meyer of art. I am not sure what that last one is supposed to mean, but Paige sure loves a good Twilight reference.

Here is a little more about Paige in her own words:

Paige is from Seattle. Chris is from Denver. We met when we were 18 as freshman at BYU in 2004. We got married on May 8th 2007 in the Nauvoo, IL temple. Currently we're living in South Pasadena, CA. Paige is working as a Copy/Creative Editor for Northridge Publishing, the Blog Hostess/Design Team Manager for American Crafts, and an assistant scrapbooker to Amy Tan for LA clients. Chris is in his third of four years at USC School of Dentistry class of 2013, and he's a Lieutenant in the Army reserves. Fox Thomas was born on October 14th, 2010 and he's the cutest little boy ever! We love life and can't wait to see what tomorrow brings!

Paige is one good egg. I know that's not cool to say, but it's true. Here's some of her insights into various aspects of crafting, blogging, and being a mama.

1. Please paint a picture of what your blog is all about. A literal picture is not necessary, but will be accepted if given.

What don't I blog about?! I blog about places we go, things we do, trips we take, things I make, things I find around the internet that inspire me, goals, hopes, dreams, pregnancies, giveaways, blog hops, parties I work at, EVERYTHING!

2. You have so many fingers in a lot of creative pies: scrapbooking, writing, blogging, drawing, photography. How do you A) have all of the energy to do it, and B) keep your mojo flowing in order to stay inspired?

A) I've always been super self-motivated. My parents never had to bug me to do my homework and I get major satisfaction crossing things off my "to-do" lists. So my energy comes from within. It's definitely a trait I picked up from my dad - from dawn 'til dusk he's always doing something.

B) Like so many others, Pinterest has definitely become a major go-to source for inspiration. I subscribe to 359 blogs via Google Reader and every night I go through them and drag my favorite images into my own "inspiration" folder or "pin" them. Also, I stay inspired at my jobs looking at hundreds of lovely scrapbooking layouts and projects on a daily bases.

3. Being a mama is tough as it is, but you have added a work-at-home aspect to that as well. Is that something you want to do for the long haul, or is simply this to put Mr. Chris through USC Dentistry School?

I actually enjoy working at my jobs! If I didn't like my jobs I definitely wouldn't still be working and do the loans/Medical route. While we definitely need my income right now, I hope to continue to work even when Chris is done at dental school because I like the people I meet and the relationships I build through said jobs.

4. Your work with other people in the creative industries is far-reaching; you have access to product designers, design team members, and publishers of craft magazines. Out of all of the things you have participated in, what has been your favorite?

My favorite job was working as a Product Designer/In-House Scrapbooker at American Crafts for 20 months in 2008-2009. It was sooooo cool to design paper and stickers and such and then see them in stores a few months later! Even still when a paper of mine is used in a layout published in a magazine, I point at it and say (to no one in particular), "Hey! I designed that!". So very fun.

5. Your personality is naturally shy and reserved—I love that about you. My personality is more outgoing, which I love about me, too. If you and I switched personalities for a week, what would you like to do as your more outgoing self?

Reach out to all of my old friends that I don't talk to anymore, host workshops and give talks without being scared, chat with the people I sit next to in church or on the plane or at the store instead of ignoring them, be the life of the party instead of the wallflower, things of that nature. I wish I could strike up conversations with strangers or new people I meet instead of being so quiet and shy! I think it comes off as snobby when really I'm just shy. I stumble and fumble with my words when meeting new people. I guess practice makes perfect so I'll work on it!

3 Ways to Be Brave

2012-01-25T09:11:00.001-07:00

Photo by Kelsae Stentzel

I have seen some brave acts in my friends and family recently. Some are more life-changing than others, but I have been impressed with all of them. Like, did you know that my sister basically gave birth naturally? Or that my husband admitted that he is a reading addict?

These inspiring examples have made me wonder how I could get into this trend of being brave. Here are a few ideas that I had that I would like to share with you.

1. Wave Your Freak Flag
This one is seemingly easy for me, right? This blog is full freaky things about me: my body issues, my Mean Girl past and present, how I am not cool or fun.

I can do this because of a lesson I learned from the TV show Full House. When the middle daughter Stephanie was given prescription glasses to wear, she was nervous about how her classmates would react. Ever the stand-up comedian, Uncle Joey presented Stephanie with the idea that if she makes fun of her glasses first, then everyone will be laughing with her instead of at her. Cue the extra-large sunglasses bit and the 90s jokes of the TGIF era.

The idea that one can be open with one's shortcomings or oddities has lead me to believe that if I frame them in a way that is funny/poignant/memorable, then others will be more tolerant of them.

Do you want to "be yourself" more? Take a step in the right direction and tell everyone about your weirdest passion. The people who you want in your life will help you hold your freaky flagpole and the people you don't want really don't matter anyway. This might be easier if you too wear extra-large neon sunglasses.

2. Fail Big
The scariest aspect of doing something new or following a dream is the prospect of failure. Sure, bungee jumping is death-defying and walking on hot coals is potentially maiming, but ultimately those would be failing...right?

If you are looking to up your bravery quotient, choose something to do that you know you will fail at. This adventure need not have anything to do with your shortcomings or ultimate goals. The whole idea about failing big is that you need to show yourself that failing is okay—you can fail, you can pick yourself back up, and you can keep going.

Prep your most horrible singing voice and sing at a karaoke night. Start a no-sugar diet on Halloween. Invite a bunch of friends over for dinner, make a souffle for the first time, and watch through the oven door as it falls. Try rock climbing, then notice your upper body strength can't even get you up the first five feet.

After your spectacular blaze of failure, you will be able to put future failures into perspective. You can start to turn your desires into actions—if those actions don't turn out how you expected, then you can say to yourself, "Remember that time I told myself I would read for 24 hours straight, and I only made it four hours before I had to take a Wheel of Fortune break? But I still ended up reading for 20 of those 24 hours!"

3. Start at the Bottom
I was struck recently at how many different kinds of jobs people can hold. On the thirty minute drive to my husband's office, we pass buildings where there are people who make $20,000 a year and people who make seven figures. The disparity between the incomes, as well as the disparity between the types of work blew my mind.

I was then reminded that my first job in the publishing industry was being a janitor for BYU Magazine. Every night, I would vacuum the offices of people who had their Chicago Manual of Style on their desks and I would dump the wastebaskets full of article ideas and meeting notes. Simply being in that environment helped me know that writing and sharing that writing was something I wanted to do with my life. From there, I have had the opportunity to see my name in magazines through working on editorial staffs and honing my writing and editing skills.

Do you want to follow your Big Dream? Start at the ground level. Pay your dues and learn your craft. Gain experience, network with your peers, and keep your eyes open for opportunities. It's a brave thing to be able to tell yourself that you can't achieve your ultimate goal in one fell swoop.

Be bold and think big—be brave and start small.

Meet Nephew Theo!

2012-01-24T21:39:00.001-07:00

My newest nephew, Theodore Leonard Miller came into the world at 9:20 pm on January 23rd—he weighs 8 lbs. 2 oz. and is either 20" or 22" long (depending on if you ask his mom or dad).

My sister Julie was a pro at birthing her first child and is so freaking beautiful.

Theo is rocking a sweet birthmark on his belly, which Jack said looks like a "mud pile." And he's right—Theo has a cool mud pile.

Lucy was so intrigued by this tiny guy. Neither of my kids wanted to hold Theo, but Lucy definitely wanted to know where his feet were at all times. Jacko just thought the hospital room was cool. And he's right—it was a cool room.

Now I have two nephews from my side of the family and two nieces from Caleb's side of the family. Jacko calls them all cousins. And he's right—he now has four awesome cousins.

We are so blessed and so happy to have Theo in our family. He's a dreamboat!

I've Got Mad Love: The Mean Girl Beginning

2012-01-22T12:30:00.001-07:00

My time at Brigham Young University was not the most academically successful time of my life.

To say the least.

That is how I found myself repeating the entry-level Biology course in September 2005. My first go-around found me going to class only a handful of times throughout the semester and taking almost none of the tests, resulting in a failing grade. When I decided to get my collegiate life together, I retook many classes in an attempt to blot out those failed courses.

Luckily, my bff Megan needed to take the course (for the first time) and we signed up for the same lecture/lab. In each 30-person lab, we sat in a closet of a room and were taught by a TA; Megan and I sat in the back-right corner of the room, in order to ensure maximum anonymity. Our lab was full of chuckleheads, which meant that Megan and I had ample entertainment each Friday afternoon after class.

One of our favorite targets was a boy who sat a couple desks in front of us—he mumbled under his breath constantly and gave off a preppy/churchy vibe that wasn't uncommon in the mostly-Mormon student body. We never chatted with him, we rarely talked to him when we graded each other's papers, and we laughed every time his mutterings raised in volume. Dude talked really loud!

Megan and I especially enjoyed one of the last labs, which was about evolution and the science behind it. This preppy kid raised his hand after one of the TA's comments, and he said that his dad was a respected geophysicist and was still able to believe in creationism. His comment was interesting and led to a longer discussion about mixing faith with science; many of our classmates were not happy with this fellow's assertion and each point made was followed by a muttered "Well, my dad's a geophysicist...."

It is possible that I have said "Well, my dad's a geophysicist" a million times. There may also be a chance that the phrase may have also spurred mine and Caleb's first real meeting a few days later. And there is definitely the possibility that said meeting was planned for nefarious purposes.

No one has ever pegged me as the "nice one" in a group, let's just say.

I've Got Mad Love is a blog series about my and my husband's courtship, engagement, and wedding.

Some of My Days Lately...Nieces Edition

2012-01-20T13:32:00.002-07:00

Welcome to my business. Like, my biz-nass. As in get your nose out of my biz-nass.

I have no qualms revealing the darker parts of my personality/life/relationships. You probably won't get every part of every story, but overall you can feel confident that I am being transparent with you.

But sometimes I get mixed up in things that involve other people's business. And other people's business isn't really something I feel comfortable sharing here on the blog.

So all of you who have shared your secrets with me, don't expect to see them published any time soon.

A current example of my biz-nass mixing with someone else's is that I am spending more time with my two nieces now. All details aside, my two-year-old niece Eden and my one-year-old niece Britain get to come to my house and play.

Most of the day is spent with some TV on, while we color, play with the pretend kitchen, and hide in the igloo tent. All four kids have been dealing with influenza recently, so tiredness has abounded.

Eden, Britain, and I don't always get along. I am a bit more high energy than their parents, so often they don't know what to make of me. The same can be said for their reactions to my kids—both girls have needed some alone time, if only to calm down from the Go-go-go mode Jacko is constantly in.

But Jacko and Eden have had a love thing since she was born. They'll get into a groove of being together all day.

And I'll keep taking blurry photos of them with my iPod Touch.

SDB Interviews: Josh of JoshLehrman.com

2012-01-19T08:15:00.002-07:00

When I started the SDB Interviews series, I wanted to feature people who inspire me and could possibly inspire you.

Check out this all-American guy, Josh Lehrman. This pastoral picture could not be more inspirational.

Now that we have gotten that out of the way, I want to let you see the other side of Josh's personality.

If you look somewhere in the middle of those extremes, you will find the Josh Lehrman I know and love. He and I went to high school together; though I was a year older than him, Josh could not have had a bigger fan than me. His participation in speech & debate caused me to go to a few speech tournaments, his acerbic wit made me follow him during lunch, and his tender heart allowed me to get to know him really well. Josh even saved my butt by participating in a children's theatre production I directed—he stole the show as the wild Uncle Sid bear in a twisted version of the Three Little Bears. Since high school, he has attended UCLA (have I mentioned he's brilliant?) and worked in several arenas of the L.A. entertainment business.

Josh maintains a website full of his comedic writing—the topics range from cringe-worthy tales from childhood to Josh's struggles with roommates and girls. Have I also mentioned that he's friends with Bobby Wilson? I think that speaks for itself.

JoshLerhman.com describes his comedy site:

This website is a collection of my miscellaneous writing over the years—some true, some based in reality, and some completely false…but hopefully all entertaining.

As I type this out, I realize that I could keep going all day about how much I adore Josh.

I am just a fan. I hope you will be, too.

1. What is yoursite all about? Who would enjoy reading it?

Anything I write ends up in one of three mental folder—

(1) Material I’m working on that I think is good and/orhas potential,

(2) material that Ilike but that enough readers (or, in the case of stand-up, listeners) didn’t,and

(3) trash.

Aside from a few anomalies, JoshLehrman.com is entirelymental folder number two. I poststuff that doesn’t quite fit my comedic character, that doesn’t have a broadenough appeal, that works better when read than when performed, etc. Most of what I write is meant to befunny, but some of it is just stuff that I felt strongly about and wanted toshare.

I’m still trying to find my audience, but it tends to beanyone who’s more introspective. Also Latinas. And maybepeople who find happiness in schadenfreude. Not a lot ofpeople read my site, but I have gotten messages from individuals I don’t knowwho say they enjoy it and/or that it has helped them feel better. That’s pretty much the point.

2. Your comedy,like most people's, is focused on exaggerating your shortcomings and badexperiences. How do you feel when good things happen to you or you get a risein self-esteem? What is something good that has happened to you recently?

Part of me wants to say that I can separate mypersonality and real life experiences from that of the Josh character that Iwrite for; but, another part of me will admit that—and this is maybe more ofa personal thing than it is a “writer” or “comedian” thing—I get nervous whensituations go well for me. Iconsciously minimize the amount of happiness I feel in order to minimize thepotential for disappointment if and when these positive things disappear orbackfire down the line. Still, thepessimism and negativity is just a protective façade. Deep down, I’m a pretty positive guy. How could I not be? This career takes a lot of optimism to keepgoing, even if that optimism is delusional.

(Outside of my psychological inner-workings, though,don’t forget that comedy doesn’t come from positivity; it comes from negativeexperiences and negative opinions.)

Something good that’s happened to me recently? I have a girlfriend again for the firsttime in about three years. She’sreally sweet and we’re getting along so far, but if and when I talk about heronstage, my character will, no doubt, have nothing but negative things to say.

That’s comedy, I guess: trying to get everyone tolove you by betraying the people that already do.

3. You not onlyproduce stand-up comedy, but also screenplays and general silliness. What isyour creative process: where/when do you work best, where do you findinspiration, what do you do when you run into a creative wall?

There’s no specific time of day or place where writingworks best for me (nor is there, I think, a specific source of inspiration); Ijust jot down anything interesting that comes to mind and work on it wheneverand wherever I have time.

Luckily, I’m usually juggling enough material that Irarely run into a creative wall; but, if I do, I’ll turn to other people. I’ll ask for feedback, I’ll hold awriting group, or I’ll read other material on the topic about which I’mwriting.

I know this much for sure, though: self-doubt andpanicking are never helpful...but they’re definitely a part of my process.

4. What have beensome of the more helpful educational experiences you have had? These could beactual lessons from school or just life experiences.

I majored in screenwriting at UCLA and I’ve takenclasses in stand-up comedy, but the best educational experiences have alwayscome from failing...which sucks.

In art, I think you can only find out what works byfinding out what doesn’t, and it’s asad reality that the more experienced professional doesn’t usually want to helpthe amateur, either because the professional views the new guy as competitionor s/he legitimately doesn’t have the time. Whatever the case, it’s up to you to stumble towards thatgoal yourself.

In terms of lessons, the main one I think I’ve learnedis to be as honest as you can when writing. Most of my best work has come from a theme that I feelstrongly about—not something that I think is marketable or has broadappeal. But again, my website onlyhas a handful of followers and I’ve sold nothing; so, I’m not really the go-tolesson guy here.

5. Being in theentertainment industry, such as working on “It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia,” means that you have access tocelebrities in a way that most people don't. Do you have any stories that mightdraw back the curtain on any certain famous people?

No, not really. I mean, celebrities are people, too, you know? Some are dicks and some aren’t. In general, I’ve found that the ones who aren’t as famous are going to be more difficultto deal with because they don’t have as cushiony of careers as they might like.

Also—I don’t know if this is pertinent to what you’reasking, but—it always makes me laugh the way celebrities are judged by suchdifferent standards. It takes solittle for people to make up their minds. For example, if Tom Cruise shakes your hand when he meets you and says,“Hi,” you’ll walk away going, “Oh my God! Nicest man ever!” But if heignores you for an eighth of a second, you’ll walk away going, “Tom Cruise isthe biggest f***ing a**hole that ever walked this planet Earth! F*** him and f*** that Scientologyhorse he rode in on!”

Having said that, I know no one as famous as Tom Cruise.

Surveying the Scene

2012-01-18T21:45:00.000-07:00

Hi, all! I won the Better Blog Content workbook from Lemon and Raspberry a couple weeks ago (more about that later this week—the review will knock your socks off!). One of the chapters suggests that a blogger needs to know his or her audience.

And I agree!

So, I would appreciate it if you would be willing to fill out the survey below. All of your answers are going to help me give you the best content, as well as let me get to know you better.

I have made the survey anonymous, but there is a place at the end that you can leave your name/a love note/your hopes and dreams.

Thank you so much and I can't wait to see what you have to say!

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WW Update and All the Fixin's

2012-01-18T09:13:00.000-07:00

When your parents give you money for Christmas, they usually want you to buy something you desperately want. The money from my parents landed in my hands last month and instantly I knew I wanted these bad boys from TOMS:

These shoes embody my personal style and meet my requirements for longevity. I know I could wear them every day and they would last for awhile. When I saw them in the TOMS catalog, I pretty much swooned. Swooned, I tell you, swoooooooned.

But those shoes weren't what I desperately wanted.

I took my money from my parents and headed to weightwatchers.com. I set up my account for three months, then sat back and realized that I had done something good for myself.

As you can see from my screenshot, I am on my second week; I still get a lot of daily points, which means that I have had flexibility that I have never before enjoyed on a "diet" before. I have lost four pounds so far. And that's been tough for me.

My previous diet of choice before Weight Watchers was the Fat Smash Diet—it involves a largely vegetarian way of eating and allows little leeway for splurges. Because the diet is so strict, the weight loss is immense. When I lost over 40 pounds in 2009/2010, I used the Fat Smash Diet to great success. I can't speak to the maintenance of that weight loss (thanks, pregnancy!), but I felt healthy and strong while I ate that way.

The circumstances of my life now make it difficult to eat so cleanly, so I needed a solution that could help me focus on the things I can control. Portion size, sodium intake, changing my mindset—these are all aspects of weight loss with which Weight Watchers has helped millions of people.

I am hoping that this slow weight loss is indicative of long-term success. It would be such a waste of swoon-worthy shoes if I don't make the most of this Weight Watchers journey.

Have you used Weight Watchers before?

Or when you lose weight, are you into the latest, trendy diets?

Inspiration: Sarah Hull

2012-01-16T15:40:00.001-07:00

The best kind of role models are the ones who are a wee bit older than you—you can look up to them being all "adult," but you still feel a camaraderie with them. Some people find that kind of role model in an older sister or a fellow cheerleader/theatre nerd/church sister. That is how I feel about Sarah Hull.

She's a loving wife, a fantastic mom, a successful business woman, and just a dang fun girl. Wouldn't you like to be all those things, too?

Sarah went to church with me when I was growing up; I'll admit that I can't remember how we got to know each other, but in my hazy memory, she was everywhere. She is no longer living in my hometown, but her in-laws live there and we have run into each other several times over the last few years. In fact, the day my sister-in-law Shyla got married at the San Diego LDS temple, Sarah's brother was also getting married there—to a girl who grew up in Oklahoma with Caleb! The world is very, very small.

Sarah met her husband Bryant in college and have since had three adorable children with him. If you want to get weepy over a Happily Ever After, here is the entirety of their love story.

If being a happy family woman isn't enough, she's the warrior mama for her first daughter Katie; Katie has Spina Bifida and is seriously the dreamiest girl I have ever encountered. Katie plays sports, takes swimming lessons, and is smart as a whip. She even starred on an episode of Yo Gabba Gabba! And through all of this, Sarah has harnessed her inner power and been a warrior mom. She has inspired other parents of Spina Bifida children and reaches out with loving arms. Sarah has written out Katie's story here—follow the link and be ready to start your fan letter to Sarah.

Sarah's other children, Ella and Carter, are also a sight to behold. In fact, when her little Carter was born, I had just found out that I was pregnant with Jacko. The photos Sarah posted on her blog of her little "Man Baby" made me want Jack to look just like Carter. I was pleased when Jacko was just as animated and adorable as MB. Sarah has since had surgery that has ended her child-bearing days, but I honestly believe that God hand-picked the three children she has from his best batch.

I want to be just as effusive as Sarah is. No matter what she loves, whether it be The Bachelor or costume parties or her siblings or Real Time Adventures, there are sparks flying off of her excitement for it. And not only is she passionate, she is friendly and willing to share her enthusiasm with anyone she meets. Sarah will talk to just about any stranger, which is not my strong suit. And even if you barely know her, she will speak with you like you are BFFs. Being around Sarah is a treat, to say the least.

So, why is Sarah inspirational? I will boil it down.

Enthusiastic. Generous. Brave.

Those are all things I want to be.

If you want to follow Sarah further, she writes often at Having a Hull Lot of Fun. She also has a photography business that my family swears by and makes Little Penelope Lane headbands and hair accessories.

And I Keep Hitting Repeat-peat-peat-peat

2012-01-14T11:32:00.000-07:00

Deanna of Delirious Rhapsody recently linked to her and her husband's love story, and it got me to thinking about how public my love story is with Caleb. There are many aspects of it that I am glad are recorded, because my memory is terrible and these moments would be lost forever. Here's a smattering of links that may interest you.

A moment of realization during the difficult first year of marriage.
Jacko's entrance into the world, sans gross parts.
The introduction of Lucy.

(And searching for all of these posts has reinforced my opinion that if you like me now, you'll love the more passionate/wordy/freeform Holly days of yore. Check out "Other Ways to Find Me" on the left sidebar to read my former blogs.)

I think I'm going to start a new series called "I've Got Mad Love," inspired by Cakies' "Our Little Love Story" series. It will be all about the saga of how Caleb and I met, dated, got engaged, and then got hitched. And let me tell you, it definitely is a saga.

Spoiler alert: The story involves inspiration over a glass of kool-aid, as well as a stranger yelling at us while we crossed the street.

The Former Days of Fighting

2012-01-12T21:52:00.001-07:00

When I went to play with my nieces on Tuesday, they looked like this:

Cute, right?

I also brought my two kids, who looked like this:

Enter my stupid self:

And the entire world got the flu. I was an unwitting carrier, but an effective one.

I will return again to So Dang Brilliant with witty encouragement and embarrassing notions about life. We are almost all feeling better.

"Baby Jack"/"Baby Lucy" Dance

2012-01-09T12:05:00.000-07:00

When my sister Julie got married in Spring 2010, all of the Chatfields descended upon southern California and got their party on. Jack was 16 months old and I was about two seconds pregnant with Lucy. The week was stressful, as are most wedding weeks, but it spawned something magical.

The "Baby Jack" dance.

When one deals with small children, animals, or similarly-tempermented people, one tends to sing silly songs in order to appease them. Jack and Lucy have been the recipients of several songs about diaper changing or "please just stop being so energetic, I'm the tiredest mommy in the world." But other songs have just been non-sensical, as is this "Baby Jack" song.

When it was first sung, Jack immediately started "dancing" like in the first part of the video below. He is not fond of dancing, but he has a great prowess for anything physical. I have tried to do the "Baby Jack" dance several times; my quads have screamed and my eyes have watered—that dance is not for the mentally weak!

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That dance has been retired, now that Jack is twice that age and can actually walk without falling. The song lives on, but only in sporadic bouts of nostalgia.

Enter Lucy.

She just happens to be a baby, which makes the "Baby Jack" song perfect to sing to her with a few tweaks. Namely, we change the "Jack" to "Luce"; dang you, double-syllable names and your inability to fit into already-created nonsense songs!

When Lucy spontaneously started doing this dance to our "Baby Lucy" song, my jaw dropped. Could this dance be genetic? Could it be innate in the Flanagan children? Or could it be that Jack has been teaching her behind closed doors?

Whatever the case may be, 12-month-old Lucy can now enter the pantheon of videographic evidence of the "Baby _____" dance.

A Tele-Graham From Me

2012-01-08T09:25:00.000-07:00

When I look at the above picture, my heart super-soars. You see, I have made a whole new family of friends in the last two months (though, you can tell who the two Chatfield girls are in the picture). Ranging from a young teenager to the mother of a young teenager, the Grahams have enriched my life through offering me a ton of love.

Graham is the maiden name of my dear friend Kelsae; you might recognize her name from my posts about my friend Mike's stroke or the sweet mohawks I gave my family. I recognize Kelsae from her fabulous friendship and her kick-A freshness. Her family has come down from Idaho to support her and Mike; they all have opened their arms to each person who loves Kels and Mike. I am included in that group.

Roslyn, Kelsae's mom, has been down here in Utah since early November, which means I have had the opportunity to speak with her often. I could tell instantly that she's a kind soul, but I was amazed at how irreverent her humor is—and I love it! She has been constantly wonderful to my children, extremely complimentary to my wardrobe, and unendingly kind in a situation that has been taxing to her. Roslyn is dedicated to her husband, so I can't imagine how difficult it has been to be apart from him for all this time. Her business Romantic Marriages helps wives make an effort to romance their husbands, which I am more and more intrigued by—they offer ideas for dates, prompts for kind words, and encouragement to make your marriage stronger. Roslyn has been an inspiration to me and a fantastic support to Kels.

The rest of the Grahams have been similarly charming and great. Kels has three younger siblings who have become good friends to me. In fact, on the day Mike had his stroke, Kelsae's brother Callan gave me a soundbite that I will never forget. While I was waiting for Caleb to come home from work so I could rush to be by Kelsae's side at the hospital, I was putting things in my bag that could possibly help. I can't even remember what I grabbed, but when I was trying to distract Kels during Mike's surgery, I showed her each random thing I had in my purse. I pulled out some coupons for Wendy's cheeseburgers and Callan said, "I never pay full price for burgers in a crisis." I felt so silly for bringing those coupons, but I was glad for that light-hearted moment. That is one of many good memories I have made with the Grahams.

For those who are keeping up at home, Mike's recovery is going so well. He "woke up" from his coma after about three weeks, and since then, he has made vast improvements from the doctors' expected results. At Kelsae's baby shower last night, I got the chance to talk to him and his father on my own. Mikey still can't get his mouth to say the words his brain thinks, but he is able to communicate with head nods and hand gestures. Come to think of it, that's how he and I talked before his stroke—I'd chat his ear off and he would listen and smile. He told me that his immobile right side can hurt a lot; for some reason, I thought that since he couldn't move anything on his right side, he couldn't feel anything there either! Mike is preparing to help with his son, who should make his appearance anytime now, through practicing changing diapers with his one good hand. And his house is all decked out with helpful rails and things to help him move around easier.

Speaking with Mike made my night because speaking with him has always been fun for me. Just because he's had a stroke does not mean he has changed inside—he is still one of the best guys I know.

But the baby shower was all about Kelsae. She is a punk rock goddess in my eyes, and I can't wait to see how cute her hard-core fetus is going to be. I love that girl, and everyone else is just gravy.

Library Catalog Love

2012-01-06T08:20:00.000-07:00

I feel more comfortable sharing embarrassing stories about my life than I do sharing any type of creativity tips. But I can't stop thinking about how much I love library catalogs as home decor, thanks to The Big Bang Theory.

If you peek in the back of Sheldon and Leonard's apartment, you'll see a tiny library catalog. I believe that its smaller size and obvious point of view makes it the perfect, unobtrusive decor statement. And if you follow the geeky show at all, you'll know that it's also spot-on for those nerdy guys.

Whenever I read about these library catalogs for use in homes, the advice for getting one is always the same:

Go on ebay, go to estate sales, or just cross your fingers that you'll come across one someday.

Thus far, I have held fast to that third bit; I don't have the disposable income to spend on the kind of catalog I'd like, but I bet that if I saw one in person, I'd blow all sorts of money to get it. Until that fateful meeting, I will just have to admire library catalogs from afar. Join me, won't you?

Welcome to the New So Dang Brilliant

2012-01-05T08:33:00.002-07:00

After improving my blog content and finding so much joy in the blogging world, I decided that my blog design needed to match that joy.

Enter the benefits of being married to a web designer who works with web designers.

Caleb's BFF and coworker Matt Gibbons offered to help me get this blog in tip top shape. He set up some new features that I want to point out:

I now have a proper "About" page, as well as a "Sites I Love" tab under the header.
The "Labels" portion on the sidebar has been cleaned up, so take a look for your favorite topics.
I now have the capability to feature some of my favorite blogs and shops through sponsorships. Be on the lookout for that later this month!

There are a few other people who took part in this makeover. Jess of IROCKSOWHAT designed my new header and button. Caleb of TwentyFourTwelve showed me how to take screenshots. And Ashley of After Nine to Five encouraged me to take my blog to the next level. Thanks to all of you great folks.

But I especially want to thank all of my readers. Yes, YOU! When I imagine you, I sometimes see faces I recognize and other times, I envision a new friend that I have yet to get to know. Each person that comprises my audience drives me to share more of my story (good and bad), more encouragement for us all, and all of my heart.

Thanks again, and happy Thursday.

I Love You, Chipbreath

2012-01-03T08:37:00.000-07:00

When Caleb and I first started dating in January 2006, I told him, "I'd like to take it slow. If you think you love me, please don't say it. I don't want to rush anything."

Fast-forward to three days later, when Caleb professed his undying love for me. My response? "Thanks.....?"

I had been prone to feeling strongly about the boys I'd dated before Caleb, and once the honeymoon phase ended with them, I was over it. With Caleb, I wanted something to grow organically and slowly so I could appreciate every second of it. I believed that the long-term was possible with him, but he went and dashed it all by dropping the L-bomb way too early.

And now, after six years of being together, Caleb has finally respected my wishes.

The other day, we were lazing around the living room watching something on TV. He looked over at me and said, "I think I may love you. You told me you wanted to take it slow, right?" I laughed, and said, "Thanks.....?"

I guess some things never change.

Love You, Bobby Wilson

2012-01-02T08:04:00.000-07:00

After my friend Jordan posted a video on Facebook featuring his "lovely" singing, I told him that I would post a video of something equally embarrassing. After all, he is my inspiration, right?

Here now is my video response to "Why Driving with Adele Can Be Dangerous":

A Confession of Jealousy for the New Year

2012-01-01T13:07:00.001-07:00

Kam of Campfire Chic has generously given me a ton of good advice in the recent months, usually through Twitter. If I put out a tweet like this:

Kam usually throws me a bone, because she's cool like that. For this particular tweet, she sent me a few direct messages full of inspiration. One of the truncated messages she sent is getting posted on my corkboard this year:

I am a stereotypical girl, and I secretly want people to be jealous of me. I combat this desire by being hysterically concerned with serving people and downplaying my own success, but it's still true that I am aspiring to the upper echelon. This advice plays right into my secret vice.

Kam, on the other hand, seems to be level-headed and encouraging to all. She does not seem to be a stereotypical girl in that sense. She is a nice friend to be okay with me wanting to cause other people to seethe with jealousy.

I am going to use a lot of different motivations to achieve my goals this year. But when the going gets incredibly rough, I am going to use those wise words to appeal to my basest traits. And it will probably work!

I hope everyone had a great celebration last night.

And Happy New Year to you all!

Challenge for the New Year: Delete One Game App

2011-12-31T15:50:00.002-07:00

I have often come under fire for having "boring apps" on my iPod Touch. If you take a look, you might agree with my detractors.

The Pocket Frogs is for Jacko and the Angry Birds is a middle-of-the-night feeding companion; Words with Friends can be considered a game, but I find it keeps me mentally challenged in a world of Thomas the Tank Engine and baby dolls.

Otherwise, it's all potentially informative and used to gain new knowledge. Even Twitter, y'all!

My intention for my iPod, as well as my internet use in general, is to keep my mind humming. I have patterned myself partly after my father, who I rarely saw watching TV and never wanted a "night out with the guys." If he had free time, he would do something productive around the house, help my sisters and I with homework, or seek out a classic book he hadn't read yet. I do watch a ton of TV, but I usually am doing something while I watch—folding laundry, crocheting, scrapbooking. I do have nights out with my ladies, but that is more about building vital friendships than retreating from my normal life. I want to make every moment of my life count, even though I usually fail in the afternoons. Dang you, mid-day laziness!

There is someone I'm really close to (wink, wink, Caleb) who finds it vital to have a place to escape. My husband uses World of Warcraft to relieve his daily stress; I am vehemently against him playing, because I think it's an incredible waste of the several hours he plays each week. But, I can't argue that he has found an outlet for all of his frenetic energy. Do I hope that it's a crutch that he will eventually replace with the gargantuan "Honey, Do" list I have for him? Yes.

If you fill up your iPod or smart phone with games and play them at any available chance, might I recommend that you delete one of them this new year? Just one—use all of that free time, even if it's five minutes a day to do something memorable/productive/lasting. Clean out the cookie crumbs from your kitchen drawers (HOLLY). Try and figure out how to become a future friend to a current enemy (HOLLY). Write or draw in your paper journal about nothing at all (HOLLY). You can see that I have a few loose ends I'd like to tie up around here.

My challenge to you for the new year is to make the small moments count. They will add up to a year of fond memories.

2011 was a roller coaster. And I am going to earnestly try to make 2012 a year I'll look back on fondly.

Pop Culture Loves: Mid-Season TV

2011-12-30T08:09:00.000-07:00

When Jack runs into some trouble, he says, "Uh-oh, I have a plob-lem."

After surveying the upcoming new shows that start next month, I realized that I may have an addiction to NBC programming. Two of the four shows I am excited about are on the National Broadcasting Company channel. And with all of my pop culture sights set on television shows lately, my brain feels full of NBC synergy and corporate mind-washing. If that channel ever goes under, I will have a plob-lem.

Here's a peek into the shows I am dying to watch come January.

Smash, NBC

In the vein of current hit Glee, Smash appears to be a TV musical extravaganza. The show is based around a musical about Marilyn Monroe and those putting it on; Katherine McPhee of American Idol fame has been featured in all of the commercials, though I imagine that the other renowned members of the cast have more than a little screen time themselves.

Project Runway All-Stars, Lifetime

My perennial favorite show Project Runway is running its second iteration of an all-star season. The first has a few of my favorite former contestants, such as Santino Rice and Danial Vosovic, but this season offers a bucketload of people I loved the first time around. Austin Scarlett (of Season One's corn husk dress fame), Kara Janx, Anthony Williams, and shoulda-been winner Mondo Guerra round out the cast that I am just dying to see.

Fashion Star, NBC

And for something completely different, a supermodel will host a garment-making contest that is judged by trusted names in the fashion industry. Wait...that sounds familiar. Who am I kidding?

I am for sure going to watch Elle McPherson work it out, as well as root on one of my favorite celebrity mamas, Nicole Richie. And did you know that Caleb once had a signed picture of Jessica Simpson in her Daisy Dukes? Not no more, he don't!

Don't Trust the B*tch in Apartment 23, ABC

Any show that features James Van der Beek as himself is worth giving a shot. End of story.

Add these shows to the already-full list of returning programming I watch on the regular:

And don't forget all of the TV shows I am trying to catch up on through Netflix. To the pop culture rookie, this may seem like a lot. But, a seasoned professional like me can handle it. I am one happy, television-watching dame.

What shows are you looking forward to in 2012?

Inspiration: Granny Square Love

2011-12-28T09:57:00.000-07:00

My husband Caleb is the bomb dot com. He bought me Granny Square Love for Christmas, knowing full well that it would lead me to potentially expensive and time-consuming projects. The book features 25 granny square crochet projects; the projects are separated by room, which means that you could be looking at a home tour full of yarn soon.

I am looking forward to playing with bright colors, which is Sarah London's specialty. The projects I am dying to make are the bedroom headboard, the granny square curtains, and of course the classic blanket!

Many reviews on Amazon.com deride this book as geared toward beginners, without many things to offer the more experienced crocheters. While these comments may be accurate, I would like to say that guess what—I'm a beginner! I was able to read the patterns clearly, understand the gist of each project, and feel like I could achieve any project with some dedication.

Sarah London has a blog and oversees an online magazine called Hip to Hook. I think I know what will be my new obsession for the new year, if you know what I mean.

Full of Christmas Pictures for Grandmas

2011-12-27T09:30:00.003-07:00

Our Christmas Eve was filled with Julie and Corbin, Christmas songs on the guitar, our friends Matt and Emily coming over with their family, and a letter to Santa that started "These cookies are weird." We reenacted the nativity with some fabulous hand puppets and the reading of the Bible. I believe I made myself sick on sugary treats, as well as by watching all of the action in Kung Fu Panda 2. I'll admit it was hard to sleep that night—it's a hard habit to break after a lifetime of excitement for Christmas.

Christmas morning started at 6:30 am, with Jacko waking up to see that Santa had eaten those weird cookies! He had also left Sunny D in our stockings and brought fantastic gifts for everyone; Jacko got a Thor hammer, Lucy got a BYU Cosmo pillow, and Julie & Corbin got books! The gifts from others were also banging—Aunt Julie even hand-drew a Darth Vader poster for Jacko!

Lucy did fairly well on her first Christmas. She made off like a bandit, receiving her first real doll and a closet full of clothes. She received a rubber ducky ornament from Grandma Flanagan, which Jack put on the tree; Lucy got angry and grabbed the ornament off the tree immediately. A girl's got to have her rubber duck!

We had a beautiful Christmas and an even better time just being together.

Little Lucy F. Turns One!

2011-12-26T12:51:00.001-07:00


Newborn Lucy, 2010


My Post-Christmas Lucy, 2011

Today is Lucy's birthday!

My little love Lucy Loo is celebrating her birthday by wearing a beautiful new dress, enjoying her favorite lunch (ramen noodles!), and taking her birthday cake party to Mike and Kelsae at the hospital.

She is a ball of fire, actively participating in the raucous fun and games with Jack. She also is a girly girl; she loves floofy skirts, saying "Hi" in the phone, and is a sweet mommy to her dolls. Her favorite words include Wow, Whoa, Hey, and Thanks.

Lucy-la is a snuggly girl and a fun addition to our household. She is the best after-Christmas present we have ever received!

Christmas Come This Time Each Year

2011-12-23T09:21:00.003-07:00

My mojo has been lacking these last few days; and though I am excited for the holidays that approach, I am feeling particularly lost in other arenas of my life. As I understand it, this time of year can be known as a soul-sucking downer. And I'll admit: being an adult during Christmas is much more difficult than being a child, so I get the downer part.

But in a tradition that spans my entire married, I'm going to write my grown-up Christmas list here on my blog. I would link to some of the other lists, but I'll admit that I am embarrassed about them. I think I asked to be in a rock band in 2007 and to receive a boxing Santa pen in 2008.

This year, I wish...

...To believe it & be it, a la Ali Vincent
...For every handmade item I have ever featured on my blog. I appreciate the hard work of each person who puts their heart and soul into their items.
...That my kids will have the most fun Christmas ever. I could not receive one present this year, and I would be pleased to simply watch their eyes light up upon opening each of their presents.
...I would stop hurting people I love. Sometimes I decide to do things that are self-destructive (don't we all?) and it ends up being destructive to not just myself. I'm not sure how to remedy this.
...For the people in my life who are truly ailing to be filled with hope.
...I were able to spend more time with those ailing people. If I had my druthers, I would be spending every second with Mike and Kelsae and their families while Mike heals from his stroke. I ache to witness such small hopeful moments like Cari describes here.
...For my baby nephew to make his debut in January as a healthy, happy ball of snuggles.

Fire-Bellied Toads Are So Hot Right Now

2011-12-21T10:21:00.002-07:00

My childhood was filled with fabulous pets—a springer spaniel doggie, an albino corn snake, fish, and a group of seven guinea pigs. Caleb's family isn't as keen on pets, but they did end up having a frog and a guinea pig. When Caleb and I combined into our own little family, I was hoping that we would lean more towards my childhood than his. We have had a few fish, which wasn't what I'd hoped for. But apartment living can mean that you don't always get what you want.

When my friend Teri offered her two fire-bellied toads up for adoption, I pounced on the chance. Frogs are tiny and fantastic! I knew Caleb would agree to it, and I was also pretty sure that Jack would be in hog heaven.

Welcome our new fire-bellied toads. We don't have names for these two little fellas yet, but for right now, we just call them "friendly friends." As in, "Hi, friendly friends" or "Good morning, friendly friends!"

And I was totally right—Jack cannot believe his luck. Lucy hasn't shown much interest in them, but Jack is more than making up for her in the enthusiasm arena. I'll admit, I kind of love them too.

Fancy Tips to Become (Outwardly) Outgoing

2011-12-20T08:11:00.000-07:00

I am naturally shy, possessing a gargantuan fear that people won't remember me. When I meet someone for the first time, I automatically assume that they won't recall meeting me if we see each other again. For years, I missed out on great opportunities and fantastic friendships because I decided I wouldn't give anyone the chance to forget me. I am still shy around people that I know, too. And don't even get me started on strangers!

Me, circa 2004

If you know me in real life, you may be surprised to hear that I consider myself shy. I added the above photo so those of you in computer land could get an idea of why people might be surprised. And I'll tell you how I combine my shy self with my outgoing facade.

I fake it.

I learned tricks to help me convince myself and others that I am not scared. I wish I had scoured faker books or downloaded some "don't be scared" podcasts. But, I simply analyzed what people responded well to in certain situations and then utilized it to my advantage.

Breaking the Ice
*Compliments are always nice, though they are required to be sincere. With strangers and acquaintances alike, people enjoy a well-meant compliment. Don't be too overt, though, or you may come off like a weirdo.

*Wear a statement piece wherever you go. The compliment tip goes the other way too, in that people are aware of how you look and what you're wearing. If you want to be noticed, then even adding some glittery shoes to your jeans & tee wardrobe will work. When I go somewhere that I don't know anyone, I always make sure to rock some great jewelry or fantastic shoes.

Conversations
*Use people's names semi-often when speaking to them. This can be a challenge when you are first meeting someone, so I have a trick to share if you aren't good with names.

Catch the first letter of the person's name—you can remember a letter, right? And then next time you speak with them, with confidence, call them "J-Money" or "B-Dawg." People tend to think it's funny and that you're simply being charming, when in reality you are just not quite sure what their name is yet.

Obviously you need to learn the person's name eventually. And my apologies to people who have been on the receiving end of this trick—I was desperate to impress you!

*Become an avid listener. With all of your might, train your brain to focus fully on what the person is saying. Not only will the person you're speaking with appreciate it, you will learn a ton of cool things.

Follow-Through
*If you have enjoyed someone's company, the not-even-weird-at-all thing to do is to look them up on social media. The beauty of the Internet Age is that you can connect with people easily and without face-to-face rejection. It will certainly hurt your feelings if someone rejects your friendship on Facebook, but at least they didn't say no in person!

This step will help the person know you thought they were interesting, as well as make it easy for you to interact with them to foster a stronger relationship.

*When you meet up with someone again, use your previous listening skills to inquire about the person. How is that book you were reading? When did your mother-in-law leave town? Did you like your trip to California? The callback to your former conversation may remind the person of how much they enjoyed it, as well as letting them know that you care about what is going on in their lives.

And, if all else fails, just dance.

Citrus Avenue Runs Through It

2011-12-19T09:19:00.003-07:00

Image via the Redlands High School wikipedia page

My alma mater is found in Redlands, California. When I graduated high school in 2003, there were about 4,000 students attending school each day and around 800 kids in my graduating class. There are so many fantastic memories for me there, as well as some cruddy ones. I know pretty much no one there now, maybe a few teachers and some of my classmates who now work there in some capacity. So now I can visit when I am in town and enjoy the view; the campus is sprawling, unlike many indoor schools where I am in Utah now.

In fact, the campus is so big that there is a street that runs right through the middle of it. The worst imaginable schedule for any RHS student was to have to cross the street during every nine-minute passing period. That dreaded street crossing added time to your travels that could have been used to head to the student store or chat up your friends. We didn't have access to lockers (thanks, drugs and guns!), so that was not a time suck. The mighty stoplight was the one hindrance to a perfect passing period. Otherwise, the street was just a normal part of the students' high school lives.

If history is your thing, you may want to know why this campus oddity exists. The North part of the campus (which would be directly behind you in the photo) was the original school built in 1891. The South part of campus was built later, which is why the street separates them. You can tell from the buildings which ones are relatively new; I loved that there was an elevator in one of the only two-story buildings at the school. How high tech! North campus was all bricked out and heavy on the
"function over form." I had most of my classes on South campus, which worked for a future-lovin' gal like me.

When I took my husband Caleb to my hometown for the first time, I drove on Citrus Avenue to show him my high school. He was flabbergasted, first by its size and then by its dividing street. He grew up in Oklahoma, where he attended an indoor high school. The thought of walking under open skies to get from class to class was odd to him. But, the reality of having to wait for cars to drive by in order to get to your next class was beyond weird.

All five Chatfield girls graduated from Redlands High School. It's the school at which my dad did his student teaching. And it's the school that my kids will graduate from, if I play my cards exactly right. That's not to say I have any school pride, but I just definitely love my hometown.

Did you have a street that ran through your school?

Or are you a graduate of an indoor high school?

Twitter? I Hardly Knew Her!

2011-12-18T14:35:00.001-07:00

I'm a twitter nerd, and I follow some people that I really admire. If you have twitter and aren't following me yet, come play with me at @flolly. I look to twitter for entertainment, inspiration, and news. Check out my favorite people:

Ali Vincent—fitness and inspiration (@alivincent)
Tara Costa—inspiration, fitness, and fantasticness (@tara_costa)
Pamela Ribon—writer, funny lady, and all-time best (@pamelaribon)
Rachel Denbow—vintage-lovin', creative mama (@racheldenbow)
Jillian Michaels—trainer extraordinaire (@JillianMichaels)
Joe Reid—pop culture dreamboat (@joereid)
Dolvett Quince (@dolvett)

Dolvett is a trainer on The Biggest Loser, which is a show I'm totally in the bag for. As you can see, more than a few people on my list have been a part of that movement. Recently, he tweeted, "When was the last time you did something for the first time?"

I know his sentiment was supposed to be motivating and inspirational, but I think I took it a little too literally. I have been scouring my iPhoto to see if I have photographic evidence of the last time I did something for the first time. Here are some of my ideas.

Loved the way these pink sweats look on me.


We had Thanksgiving by ourselves, and we had Spiderman there!

Bought a whole pineapple, as well as having a son with bangs.

Posted my first instagram photo, featuring a cold Lucy.

What about you guys?

Want to share any "first time adventure" stories?

Jacko is Sicker, but Liquor is Quicker

2011-12-16T09:33:00.000-07:00

Little Lucy-loo is feeling much better than she did last weekend, but now Jacko-roo is under the flu's black cloud. Jack has mostly been cranky and barfy, while Lucy has been enjoying the marathon of children's shows on the TV. The silly part of this whole ordeal is that I'm thrilled that he's thrown up in the toilet—twice! Dude's growing up. No more carpet messes for us, in that regard.

And for some reason, I can't stop thinking about the following little anecdote.

The guy I dated right before I met Caleb was a recovering alcoholic. That was part of the reason we broke up, but it was mostly because he was needy. And I'm not into needy guys. For how tough I like to act, I find being the constant "rock" of the relationship difficult.

He had served an LDS mission in Canada before his drinking days. Anyone who has known any kind of religious missionary has probably been showered with stories of spiritual experiences. I myself never served a mission, so I try to live vicariously through those who have and am drawn to any kind of story regarding a mission. Silly, miraculous, scary—I love them all.

The most faith-affirming story that my former boyfriend had to offer was uninspiring, at best. One day, he had consumed something that was questionable in the expiration-date department. His stomach was twisting in knots, but there were still many people that needed to be served that day. He prayed to Heavenly Father, wondering what he should do. He felt a strong urging to drink water—LOTS of water. After he did, he threw up and felt much better. The end.

He spoke with such reverence about this story; I could barely hold in my guffaws each time he told it. From his two-year mission, he held that ONE experience as his sign that the church was true? Okaaaaaay.

If you are looking for religious peace this holiday season, I hope you do not lean on that story.

Happy Birthday, Jacko!

2011-12-15T07:54:00.003-07:00

Jacko's first night home from the hospital, 2008


This morning opening presents, 2011

I am not overly sentimental, but I can't remember what life was like without my Jacko. I have become a better person and learned a lot about myself through parenting him.

Today we are celebrating with birthday donuts, a showing of Cars 2, fancy dinner wherever Jacko wants, and a late-night showing of "the movie where Bumblebee turns into a car." The boy loves Transformers.

And for those who are curious, the dress-up trunk was a hit—Jack loves it and I love that it cost less than $20 total!

Leave Jacko a birthday message in the comments.

You might get a specialized response direct from the birthday boy!

Party in the GlassesUSA

2011-12-13T21:08:00.000-07:00

Y'all, I'm a glasses fiend. Mostly it is out of necessity, but I definitely want my glasses to make a statement since I have to wear them.

GlassesUSA.com is offering an early holiday sale that is super appealing to a glasses nerd like me. Take 30% off any pair of eyeglasses and get free US shipping with the code Holiday2011. P.S., basic single vision lenses are included, while upgrades are available for an additional cost.

The site is also offering the opportunity to take 10% off any order of prescription glasses, using the code Blog10. If you are looking to buy glasses this season, then head on over to the check out their great selection—you can use their virtual mirror to "try on" different styles (which is good for the Round-Of-Face me).

And if you know a ton of people who wear glasses, you may like to know that GlassesUSA.com has a generous refer-a-friend program. You can buy a pair (or two!), drop a casual mention here and there of "online eyeglasses" when you are with your friends, and you're on your way to becoming the most trusted friend in your crew. I can hear it now: "Oh, you like these frames? My friend sent me to this site and now I am going to ask her to recommend a restaurant/movie/witch doctor."

So if you see the GlassesUSA.com logo while you're rolling around the internet, you can know that they are a trusted online source for glasses.

This was a sponsored post, but the words and opinions are my own.

Gift Ideas: Music Edition

2011-12-13T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sometimes the person to whom you want to give gifts just wants an iTunes gift card. Maybe they heard rumors that they are getting a new iPod or feel a little too silly asking for the Jake and the Neverland Pirates CD outright. Or maybe you barely know your Secret Santa assignee and want a sure-fire present to impress them.

When I give an iTunes gift card, I sometimes try to add a playlist of great songs they could download with it. My mom received a workout mix once, and I believe that I have also suggested some wedding reception music for an almost-married friend.

Here are some albums that you might want to suggest; if you aren't sure if your pal will like a particular one, I have added some descriptors to aid your choosing.

Adele—21

Rolling Stone just voted this as "Album of the Year" and iTunes named Adele as the iTunes Artist of the Year. Every song on the album is fantastic and makes great sneak-up-on-you workout music.

Who needs this album? It is the obvious choice for anyone who doesn't keep up with pop music.

Burning Hotels—Eighty Five Mirrors

A delicious bite of music, this 2008 EP is a great introduction to this band from Texas. Be forewarned, though—they have a new sound now, which is cool if you like evolving artists. And who knows, I might be able to trick you into seeing the Burning Hotels-filled movie Band Slam.

Who needs this album? Someone who likes a band that reeks of indie cred.

Thank Me Later—Drake

Let me start off by saying, you may want to suggest the edited version for the people in your life who have tender ears. I am the world's most recent Drake fan and am aware that I am extremely late to the party. He has a musicality in his flow, plus he is kind of dreamy. Even Rihanna thinks so!

Who needs this album? Definitely not my mother, who claims that hip-hop music makes her want to "kill people."

Moody's Mood for Love—Amy Winehouse

On the Frank album, this song mixes a classic jazz standard and a trippy background track. I first heard Elliott Yamin's version (thanks, American Idol!) and can't decide which one I prefer. Amy's voice is much more delicate on this track than most of the world knows from the song "Rehab."

Who needs this song? A conspiracy theorist who wants to pay respects to an artist who died at 27, the ill-fated age of the devastatingly-talented.

20th Century Masters: The Christmas Collection—Jackson 5

Welcome to my favorite holiday album of my youth. You can enjoy the dated kitsch and the timeless music, plus young Michael Jackson!

Who needs this album? Anyone who insists on singing "Feliz Navidad" over and over again.

A Man Amongst Women

2011-12-12T08:22:00.000-07:00

Watching my nieces is always a treat—Jacko and Lucy love their company, and now that the younger niece Britain doesn't cry at the sight of me, I love their company too. Their ages are: Jacko (almost three), Eden (two), Britain (one), and Lucy (days until one); they all play together extremely well and it makes babysitting easy.

The girls came to our house on Friday and instantly formed a child alliance with my kids. Their main creed was to keep all adults at arm's length. Whenever I offered my playing services, they would all look at me like I was crazy. So, I simply observed them instead.

And I mused about Jacko being in a room full of girls. He loved it. I know many guys who kept their inner circle full of girls, and for those who were interested in that sort of thing, got tons of dates from it. I approve of Jacko's knack for getting himself into female situations.

He has the genetics for it, though. My husband Caleb is the only brother in a family full of girls. He claims that being the older brother means he can tease the sisters constantly, but I encourage the other stereotype of the protector. Caleb was one of those boys who had a ton of female friends in high school, but he didn't date any of them. You have to wait for the right lady, and the right lady is always named Holly.

And on the flip side of the gene pool, my dad is the only male in a house filled with six women. He wouldn't have it any other way, seeing as he himself was a rambunctious little boy and was afraid to create a mini-monster. My dad has a soft heart, which makes him the perfect girl daddy; he also possesses a fierce loyalty to his daughters, which made him an intimidating foe for those boys who wanted to date me. The Chatfield family has had many pets over the years, but only one of them has been male: a beta fish named Marty. My dad joked that he wanted to bring Marty into the living room and watch Rambo some days. And according to family lore, he has only had one full day of female claustrophobia and had to decompress with manly movies and sports.

I was shocked that my first child was a masculine one. But, rumor has it that boys who grew up surrounded by girls become the best men.

Three Easy Ways to Not Self-Sabotage

2011-12-11T14:30:00.001-07:00

This weekend has seen some emotional highs and lows in my house; some of them from me, others from Caleb, and still more from the children. I suppose you could say that it's a normal Saturday and Sunday at the Flanagan house. And let me assure you that the highs have outnumbered the lows.

But the lows have been extremely low. When you're feeling down, it is easy to slide back into bad habits you've broken or subconsciously tear down all of the good work you have done. A person's mentality can drift into negative thoughts, their diet can find itself comprised of pizza and donuts, or their relationships can become distant.

I am all about getting help if you think you might have a mental or hormonal disorder, but sometimes you just have an off day. And instead of ripping your life up to shreds during that 24 hours or so, here are some tips to focus that negative energy.

Get Your Chick Flick On
Delving into a fictional world where a girl would choose Topher Grace over Josh Duhamel, a call-in radio show will bring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan together, and John Cusack builds boats and dates online can make you feel so good. Even if your woes are romantically related, you can buy into the idea of love for a few hours.

Take the Day Off From the Internet
The internet has a way of enabling our worst habits. Are you a retail therapy kind of person? You can shop 24 hours a day! Will you find yourself browsing the profiles of ex-boyfriends? Here are Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+, and the Google search bar. Know a message board where someone has talked smack about you? Make a new username so you can agree with all of the terrible things said about you.

Or you can unplug and fill your day with reading, writing, outdoor hiking, or a full day at the gym. Each one of these can transport you to a different world and give you time to cool down from your bad day.

Eat A Treat (Responsibly)
Some people just have to eat to pep up. My husband will become grouchy if he doesn't eat, so sometimes what he consumes doesn't even have to be sugary! If you have eaten and you still feel yucky, then choose something you love and eat it in moderation. For me, this weekend, it has been ice cream. I am aware of every bite I eat—a spoonful of sugar makes the bad mojo go down.

So, to all of those exes I have stalked and those cinnamon rolls I have eaten, I hope you can see why I can't come back to you just because I am having a rough time. Even though I love you all so, so, so much, I just can't. And I especially mean you, cinnamon rolls.

Sister Musings

2011-12-10T14:55:00.001-07:00

My sister Julie and I are close. In fact, all four of my sisters and I are close. As the oldest, I feel responsible for their well-being and their happiness; even now that we are all adults, I want to protect them at all costs. That's not really my job, though, now that we are adults. The adult thing is to act like an adult. Right?

Anyway, my job is to support my sisters in the good choices they make. Julie chose to have a baby, and I chose to support it—because a new nephew is always awesome to have! Today I threw her a baby shower; I kept everything nice and simple with some finger-knit garland and felty triangle garland, plus some delicious finger foods. Julie has gestational diabetes, so we kept it to one sweet treat: the always delicious frosted brownies.

Despite what some may say, I also have another family as well: my in-law family. I have four additional sisters thanks to my marriage, and I need to support them in their good decisions, too. For the most part, they are making good decisions. Some are even making great decisions! And when they don't make good decisions, you just have to love them anyway.

I am grateful to have a gaggle of sisters.

Do you have sisters you love?

Or do you have "sister friends" that support you?

Let's hear some fun sister stories!

These Are A Few of My Favorite Tees

2011-12-09T09:00:00.001-07:00

I am neither the world's foremost fashionista, nor am I the premier fashion blogger du jour. But I can say that I am a t-shirt enthusiast. When I make an effort to get my style right, I choose statement tees to impress the masses. A girl's got to be comfortable.

My absolute favorite t-shirt is this Korean soccer shirt I got at the Salvation Army over 10 years ago. You can see that I have worn it more than once, thanks to the threadbare effect under the tag. I get several positive comments every time I wear it; this happened especially when I was going to BYU and people who had served LDS missions in South Korea would stop me enthusiastically. I will admit that I wore this shirt to a few parties to attract the male types.

...What? I like boys, okay?

Caleb and I were also Woot Shirt kids for awhile. I enjoyed seeing what the new design was for each day, but I shied away from the nerdier ones. The shirt below is super wrinkly, because I reserve it for my skinnier days so it's been awhile. Before Caleb and I had kids, I would wear this shirt to let Caleb know that I was ready for a date. I even wore this tee to the Kanye West Glow in the Dark concert—I'm sure Kanye appreciates a good graphic pun.

And for the days I am feeling especially flirty, I rock this translucent heart shirt with a tank underneath. I remember growing up and thinking that I couldn't wear pink with my strawberry-blonde hair; I overcame my fear and even ended up wearing a pink polo in my engagement photos! And while I am talking about overcoming fears, I appreciate the Target clearance rack, because it helps me feel like I actually can buy myself new clothes.

Do you have some favorite clothes?

Are they sentimental favorites? Sexy favorites?

Does anyone have favorites they can't part with, even though they should?

When A Man Creeps Out a Woman

2011-12-07T11:03:00.001-07:00

As I was taking pictures for today's planned blog post, our apartment complex repairman rang the doorbell. This is the same repairman who ineptly dealt with our no hot water, no air conditioner in the middle of summer, no internet or TV Week From Hell when we first moved in. At another point, he came into the house and scared my children while I was in the shower. This man has always given me a weird vibe. Therefore, I was unhappy to see him, at best.

He came to replace our thermostat cover, which he had taken in August and never come back with a new one. After a dust-up with the office staff yesterday, we are finally not a wire-exposed, mercury rising fire hazard anymore. The repair seemed to take forever; if it were me, I would have just placed the cover on and peaced out. Our history indicates that I would want him out of the house immediately.

But, instead, the man turned away from the thermostat and said:

"You have lost a lot of weight. When I came for the air conditioner, you had much more weight and now you are very beautiful."

English is not his first language, so I said thank you before I realized what he was saying. When he left to go get a leveler for our blinds, two and two made four in my mind and I was appalled. He had the gall to say, "That wasn't harassment, I was just noticing how beautiful you look," when he returned. I am hoping he saw the flames shooting out of my eyes, because he hooked the leveler on and bolted.

Let's get things straight: I have actually gained weight since I first met him. The main difference between then and now is that I have showered, am wearing make-up, and actually had clean clothes to wear. I am not looking like a distressed woman who regretted moving in and was furious with the world.

And even if I had lost weight, I do not know this man. How dare he come into my home and make me feel uncomfortable! There is a difference between a well-known neighbor seeing you at the mailbox and saying, "Wow! The weight is just melting off you!" (still one of my favorite compliments I have ever received) and a distant male acquaintance complimenting you and then making sure you aren't feeling "harassed."

The silver lining to this incident is that now I have some anger/fuel to get me through my next workout. And today's planned blog post will come tomorrow, hopefully with 100% less angst.

Careful What You Teach, Children Will Learn

2011-12-06T08:03:00.001-07:00

Jack is getting to the age where I have to decide what schooling I am comfortable putting him in: preschool, public school, private school, or maybe even home school? I am a smart cookie, but I don't know if I have the patience to teach my children for their academic pursuits. I am related to no less than 10 teachers—you know I have mad love for those who go into that profession. But I am leaning towards letting the teachers teach Jack.

That being said, if you want to know more about homeschooling than I know, you may want to check out the Pioneer Woman's Homeschooling. Ree Drummond is a trusted name in photography and food around my house, so I believe that she can lead you to the homeschooling light.

For right now, I am simply teaching Jack things to prepare him for public school and interpersonal interaction. My curriculum is based solely on my wits—if I think of it, I will teach it to him. I understand that may leave a few gaps academically, but I try extremely hard to think of everything he will need without stressing myself out. He is a naturally curious kid, which makes him a willing student. Here are a few things he is into right now.

Manners
Manners have been a top priority of mine. My friend Molly recently shared some advice she received when she was pregnant with her twins: "You'll always love your children. But, you want to raise children that other people love." I absolutely love that notion and agree with it wholeheartedly. That is why I drill Jack on the "magic words" and being kind, as well as showing through example how to treat people well. Not to brag, but when a two-year-old says, "Thank you for having us. And thank you for the food!" without prompting, you know you have achieved your goals manners-wise.

Opposites
Opposites are Jacko's weakness right now; he loves grouping similar things together, so why would you even want to know what the opposites are? I have explained several times what an opposite is and how he can feel really smart for knowing them. Even toddlers like to feel smart! For right now, I am using simple objects and repetitive drills. An example would sound like: "Jack, this ice is cold. What is the opposite of cold? Hot, like the stove!" The whole endeavor is a work in progress.

Numbers/Letters
My cousin Cari worked with addicts' children in a rehab facility, and she has told me several identifiers of what makes a child developmentally sound at each age. I have used those suggestions as benchmarks for what I teach Jacko. I recall Cari telling me that many pre-k kids she taught knew numbers, but could not grasp that you could use them to count objects. I make Jack count everything; not in a drill sergeant way, but rather in a challenging game way.

We also read to Jack like crazy. My parents have a pin next to their land line that reminds them to read at least 20 minutes a day to their children; I use that parameter to gauge how well I am doing in that regard. At the library, Jacko is extremely involved in choosing his own books, though lately I have been steering him to choose at least one alphabet book. He recently chose "Dr. Seuss' ABC," which was a favorite of mine as a kid. He loved the book, which rocks because I can still quote it from my childhood.

Names/Pertinent Info
At his two-year-old well child appointment, my doctor told Jacko that he needed to learn mommy and daddy's names just in case he got lost. I took that to heart and he has come to know all about our aliases, Holly and Caleb Flanagan. I believe that he has transferred that desire to know our names into wanting to know everything's name. A visit to the dinosaur museum turns into me reading all of the impossible-to-say names, a game of Star Wars consists of him asking who each character is, and we constantly talk about our family members' names while driving in the car.

I have also taught him the name of the city we live in. However, he has taken that to Jane Austen levels and decided that our apartment is named Riverton. Sometimes he asks me if we can go to "Riverton" when we are out shopping or playing in the town of Riverton; it took me forever to realize that he wanted to go back home. Though our estate isn't as sprawling as Pemberley, I am glad that he enjoys being home. So, even I will call our house Riverton sometimes. It's fun.

I have sent myself up a creek without a paddle by speaking so well of going to school. Jacko is now asking when he can go to school, and I don't mean infrequently. He will find loopholes in my explanations on why we need to wait; he has told me that Grandpa (my dad) and Aunt Julie (my sister) are teachers, so he can just go to their schools. He's trying to subvert the public school system by sneaking onto playgrounds and pretending to be an older kid.

What I am trying to say is: be careful what you teach, because children will want to learn.

Pop Culture Love: Karmin

2011-12-04T14:01:00.001-07:00

You know that feeling that everything's already been done? I get that a lot.

Almost every idea I have for a blog post, a web site, a writing dream, or a million dollar business, I search intensely for similar things that already exist. I have let things pass me by because there are a few people out there who were faster than me.

But I love a good music cover. LOVE! So many talented people take something that has already been done and they give it their own twist, upload it on the internet, and hopefully become well-known.

A duo who used that formula and gained major success is Karmin. You may have seen them on the Ellen show, performing the song "Look At Me Now," which gained them notoriety thanks to the fast rapping ways of Amy. I prefer the original video, so here it is for you to enjoy.

A white girl with her own retro style, rapping? Yes!

A couple who enjoy singing together? Okay!

And a low-fi video that's more concerned with the music than the visuals? A+!

All of Karmin's covers are fantastic, especially the ones with straight up singing (check out Skyscraper, Forget You, and Someone Like You). But, you guys? Let's get the Minajesty in here. Super Bass!

The Short Truth about My Long Struggle

2011-12-03T08:56:00.001-07:00

Cargo shorts, circa 2005. Look at that 19-year-old me's teeny waist!

As I mentioned yesterday, the weather has turned freezing in my neck of the woods. That fact has hardened my resolve, once again, to move back to California. West coast is the best coast! What I am really trying to say here is that I hate cold weather.

My warm weather breeding mixed with my brazen ways make a sound excuse for my current wardrobe. I love men's cargo shorts, since they're long and balance out top-heavy me. I have recently been wearing very similar cargo shorts to the ones above, even when there has been snow falling from the sky. Friends and family have extolled my stamina against the cold: "I don't know how you do it—it's freezing out here!"

But I have a confession.

I am freezing. I am stinkin' cold. And I am extra ashamed.

The shorts I have been wearing are my husband's. I wear them because even the jeans I bought recently (that are a couple sizes bigger than I'd like) don't fit. My wardrobe on the bottom consists of those shorts and stretchy sweatpants; I wear the shorts out and about because even I can't stand the thought of public sweatpants. I would love to be wearing pants when it's cold outside. I want to be warm like the skinny people are.

I can brush off the short-wearing as an ill-advised battle against winter and leave it at that. I have practice at being uncomfortable, since I constantly wore a sweatshirt in the California heat when I first hit puberty. You wear what you have and you deal how you can.

And I deal through cargo shorts.

Sad Face, Sad Panda

2011-12-02T13:26:00.000-07:00

Some days, I know that I wasn't cut out to be a mother to two toddlers. I can feel it deep in my bones that today is one of those days.

I promised Jack last night that we could take a "long walk" today, which means going outside of our apartment complex. We were prepped to go by 8 am, thanks to an early wake-up of each person in the house. I got everyone jacketed up, blanketed out, and hooded down. We made it about a block out of our complex before Lucy started freaking out—her raging screeches weren't even as impressive as her twisting attempts at stroller escapage. Did I mention that it was 27 degrees outside?

We live on the third floor, which means that taking the stroller upstairs is a challenge. I placed the stroller in our car trunk and decided that I needed some donuts. I loaded the kids up in the car, with Lucy still in hysterics. I drove in the freezing car until we reached the donut shop; before I was able to put the car in park, I realized that I had left my debit card at home.

As I announced the news, both kids burst into tears and I put the car in reverse. Back home for us.

I was able to calm them down in front of Shrek 2 for awhile, before Jack discovered the two tents that we have in the closet. One of the tents is easy to assemble, as it's only a matter of popping out the internal skeleton. The other requires tent poles, precision placement, and no small hands helping. The entire time I was putting together the second tent, Jack was giving me a running monologue about how he needed the tent now.

Have I mentioned that he hadn't stopped talking since before we left for our walk? Even when Lucy was at jumbo jet-level decibels? And that he needs an appropriate response or else he will indefinitely repeat what he said before?

I unfortunately shouted at him, "Please stop talking to me!!!!!" I then accompanied that outburst with heaving sobs and the inability to see the tent task at hand.

I haven't showered yet today. I am trying to watch what I eat. I can't get the nagging worry about our unpaid bills out of my head. I feel completely out of control, which isn't something that can easily be fixed when one is tied to another adult and two children.

Luckily, the last time I felt out of control, I lost 40 pounds.

Yay?

Bed Love

2011-12-02T07:39:00.001-07:00

I know I have already written about my trials in bed-sharing, namely that I have no room thanks to my snuggly husband, but I forgot to mention the most important thing:

My bed rocks.

Forget the Ikea duvet cover and the falling-apart quilt. Forget the bedside tables and the disparity of books on them.

You only have to remember one vital fact:

The Beautyrest Fantasy. The mattress of perfect dreams.

My husband and I inherited this bed from his grandfather; it had originally been purchased for Caleb's grandmother when she was bed-ridden in her final days. Since she died, the mattress had been rarely used in the guest room. Caleb's aunt and uncle towed it down from Colorado for us and changed our lives forever.

We have had this bed for almost five years, and I still say every night and morning, "I love this bed." It's appropriately cushy, perfectly springy, and plushly responsive to my every sleeping need. The bed is such a hit that many hangouts at my house have ended up with everyone lazing on the bed, chatting. I am so proud of this bed that I readily invite friends and family to sleep on it. When my sister-in-law Cymbre was staying at our house this summer, I implored her to take a nap on the bed. I urged her to enjoy the perfection of comfort, but she resisted. I finally asked her, "Just lay on it for 15 minutes, and if you don't like it, you can get up without any fuss from me."

She proceeded to take a glorious, restful nap.

I love being right.

Do you have a love affair with your bed?

Is there something in your house that you are constantly showing off to guests?

I Love Books With Homework

2011-11-30T12:51:00.001-07:00

My father is a public school teacher; he did his student teaching at the high school my sisters and I graduated from, and has been a fantastic mentor to kids 12-18 by teaching at the middle school and high school levels.

Anecdote:
When my dad was student teaching at Redlands High School, he was consistently harassed by hall monitors for "skipping class," due to his young-looking face and physique. His mentor teacher ending up having to give him a hall pass to carry around, just so he could get home to his pregnant-with-me wife at the end of the day.

Because I have always been surrounded by it, I have always had a soft spot for homework. In fact, while my dad was grading papers at night, I would ask my mom to give me some homework to do. She would set up writing and addition homework, and I would go to town. This continued until I actually was in school, where I received real homework.

I followed that path and worked rigorously all the way through high school, putting myself through the wringer academically and liking it. College, maybe not so rigorously, but I like to think that I'm still a smart dude. I am always pushing myself to learn and grow.

I picked up Jillian Michaels' most recent book, Unlimited at the library, and I was thrilled to see that at the end of each chapter, there were exercises to help cement the chapter's lessons. The book is not about weight loss encouragement; the main gist of the book is about pushing yourself past your limits to achieving any dream that you might have. The first part of the book even helps you decide what your dreams might be, if you aren't feeling particularly passionate about anything at the moment. I realized that I love writing, girl power, and leading people—I now have so many dreams that put all of those things together!

Another part of the book deals with discovering your personal roadblocks and overcoming them. A homework portion at the end of one chapter leads you through an exercise regarding people who make you seethe, and why their attributes anger you so much. I read this chapter when everyone else in the house was asleep, so I was alone; I was kind of going along with the exercises, when I had an epiphany that reduced me to tears. I am not going to share it as it's a tad personal, but putting together all of the pieces that Jillian parsed out has truly changed my life. I can be more tolerant of behavior I dislike because now I know why I dislike it, instead of falling back on "It just bothers me!"

Sure, I am also going to use the techniques in this book to excise myself of my body issues, but I know that these strategies goes way beyond weight loss. There is no use in making myself healthier if I am not going to spruce up my life all around. I know that my full potential includes feeling good about myself on the outside AND the inside.

If you missed Amy's Onward and Upward session, you may want to supplement with this book until the next one rolls around. Both deal with finding your life's work, your true happiness, and working hard to achieve your craziest dreams.

Amazing (Disappearing) Cheekbones

2011-11-29T11:46:00.001-07:00

At this weight, I know I'm hiding my amazing cheekbones. I don't gain weight just to that end, but I understand that it's a side effect of how my body is right now. Luckily, when I smile, those cheekbones pop right out and say hello. And as a former teenager who had a favorite picture from a magazine because the model's cheekbones were just like hers, I can say that I appreciate what I have.

See? Cheekbones gone! You know, all of my body issues are yucky to deal with, but I have the preternatural ability to see the beauty behind them. Which reminds me, I like this song by Jason Mraz:

Gift Ideas: Dress Up Trunk

2011-11-28T08:59:00.001-07:00

If I were a thinking man, I would buy the Star Wars costume trunk above and give it to the world's youngest Darth Vader fan. But instead, I am a thrifty lady.

I've already let the world know that December is a busy month for the Flanagan family, in terms of gift giving. This year, I have made it even more challenging by throwing my sister a baby shower and wanting to throw Lucy a 1st birthday talent show. My small-business supporting ways this holiday season have warmed my heart, though, so I can't complain too much.

In addition to supporting small businesses, I have been keeping my eye out for second-hand and vintage items. I have a few people in my life who aren't a fan of anything that's not BRAND NEW, but some of my most beloved treasures have been second-hand and I can't imagine life without them. I want to pass that desire on to my kids, as well.

Therefore, for Jacko's third birthday, I want to gather together costumes for a fabulous dress up box. We have a few things, like a cape and his old Halloween costumes. But I am hoping to expand our collection through hunting at thrift shops and checking out recycling websites like Craigslist or our local classifieds. And I am also dreaming of the perfect trunk to put them all in—easily opened by tiny hands and large enough to rifle through when not just any costume will do.

And if you're questioning whether or not Jacko will enjoy this gift, I present Puss in Boots as exhibit A:

Never let your kids watch Shrek 2 without adult supervision, or your baby Dumbo will get slashed by a spatula sword.

Intentions for a Weekend

2011-11-26T10:23:00.000-07:00

My brain is scattered because I have been getting too much sleep this holiday weekend. And none of it has been turkey-related! My mind has led me to some strange thoughts in the last few days.

A couple of seasons of The Biggest Loser have been sponsored by 24-Hour Fitness, and one season they followed along with that year's advertising and let each contestant wear an intention shirt. Do you remember those commercials; for whatever reason, the one shirt I remember was an older lady wearing a shirt that said "to find my seven chakras." I did not even know what a chakra was at the time, which is probably why it stuck out to me. The contestants chose things like "to walk my daughter down the aisle," "to fit into a designer pair of jeans," and "to finish what I started, for once."

I tell you all of that to inform you that I have been wanting to find my own intention for my health.

Intentions are something that I am familiar with, in that a large part of acting is assigning an intention for every word and movement your character chooses. Many of my scripts have something like "to chastise" or "to lighten the moment" in the margins. I know how to delve into a written character and come out with their most dire needs and how they choose to achieve them. But do I know how to do that for a living, breathing person? Namely, me?

My guiding thought has been that I really like myself on the inside; I think I am smart, fun, interesting, and caring. Even with my many faults, I am proud of myself. But once my outside comes into the equation, all bets are off. If anything in my life has involved playing sports, looking sexy, appreciating the things my body can do, or looking acceptable (to myself) in clothes, I can guarantee that I have been dissatisfied. And ultimately, I am aware that those things are caused by a mental block. There must be something I can do physically that I can be proud of, though. ...Right?

Apparently I still need to hone my main intention. Or get less sleep so I don't think about these things.

What have been your health intentions?

Let's hear the silly ones, the serious ones, the "shoot for the stars" ones!

SDB Interviews: Nova of Four-Eyes Rella

2011-11-25T07:16:00.001-07:00

When someone named Nova comments on your blog post about tattoos, recommending that you tell your son "...that some people choose to get pictures put on their skin that stay there for the rest of their lives, and some people don't," you have to sit up and take notice.

I am not sure how Nova of Four-Eyes Rella found my blog, but I am sure glad she did—it means I found her blog, too! I knew I just had to interview her and share her with the people I love: you! But be aware, I had to go all prude-ish and edit a few choice words from her responses.

I'll let her describe herself in her own choice words:

My interests revolve around funny stuff, tattoos, writing, editing, cats, dogs, photography and languages (especially Spanish). I live with my boyfriend, his 2 kids, a cat and a dog in Victoria, a small city on Vancouver Island in Canada. I work in a tattoo shop there. I would love to be a writer some day. Maybe.

Nova has been the most relaxed interviewee I've had, which is good because she is also the first blogger I have reached out to that I didn't know at all! I just have a love for her blog—photography diptychs, bus horror stories, and the most enviable home office ever. In fact, I am still so nervous about her liking this interview that I have drafted this intro four times. I will just let her show you how awesome she is.

1. Let my fancy readers know what your blog is all about.
My blog is about my life and whatever it is that captures my attention on any given day. Usually I have like 75 billion pictures of my dog which some people really seem to like. I write a lot about things that strike me as funny or unusual, I post a lot of pictures as I'm super interested in learning about photography, and since I work in a tattoo shop I post a lot of tattoo related things too. Oh, and every Thursday...LOOK OUT. It gets bananas up in there with TILT posts.

2. You are a word nerd just like me, but you also have a "tough" outer vibe. How do you marry the two, or are they not mutually exclusive?
I really really don't have a "tough" vibe. Like, at all. You should meet me in real life, I'm a huge dork. I think sometimes I do come off as kind of a jerk because I'm super shy and quiet and refuse to do "small talk." I like that you think I'm tough though! Hahaha! The awesome thing about human beings is we have so many levels and facets and so much depth. I honestly beleve that every single person is interesting if you get to know them, and could surprise you with their knowledge and interests. You should never judge a book by its cover. For example, this book has a University degree and loves kitties and has been to probably half of the states in Mexico but never overseas, and works in a tattoo shop and set her alarm super early today on her day off so she could get up and read the Game of Thrones books in the morning light.

3. I can't let this interview go any longer without starting some Bus Talk. Let's hear the low-down on your bus love/hate.
Oh why do we have to go there? WHY OH WHY? There is no "love" side to the bus unless you count that it gets me from A to B. I'm not the only one who hates it though, I get a really amazing response every time I write about it in my blog. In fact, I'm thinking about starting a "The bus sucks everywhere" feature...so if any of you lovely folks out there have some amazing bus stories, or just want to vent about it, please e-mail me. I've already got my first post lined up from a bus rider in India!

4. You make your living being artistic, through working at a tattoo shop. I am interested to hear about your process, the collaborative efforts of tattoos, and the creative environment of your workplace.
I'm actually not a tattooer, I just kind of ... do everything else in the tattoo shop. I'm still semi-involved in the client/artist process in that I set them up together, make sure the client brings all they need to the table and that they're prepared before they talk to the tattoo artist, aid in the communication between the two, set up appointments and the tattooers' schedules etc. Mainly my job is sterilization, taking care of the clients, money stuff, making sure we have all the supplies, reception-type stuff and all the random little jobs that pop up. My biggest pet peeve is when people see me standing there and assume I do nothing all day and my job is the easiest...I mean...sometimes it really is, but I always have to keep my eye on everybody and make sure everything is running smoothly. Oh yeah, and I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't mention our website, facebook page and twitter! :) Most of the posts and tweets and stuff are by me. Just sayin'.

The creative environment around the shop is something I don't really think about anymore, I'm so used to the guys I work with just magically whipping up a killer snake sleeve or a rad painting of a wizard or whatever...but seriously, tattooers are amazing. They constantly work under pressure and make it all look so easy. I am seriously lucky to be surrounded by so much talent.

5. How important is your blogging to you, in terms of sharing your story/photography/general awesomeness?
I recently tried to explain why I blog to my sister and it was impossible. It's one of those things...if you don't do it you won't get it. I probably spend six to eight hours per week writing, editing photos and reading other blogs. And I enjoy every second of it even though it just sounds like a hell of a lot of work to the layman! I really feel like it's paying off in so many ways, and I haven't even reached the level of 'paid sponsor' blogger yet. (Although if you want to do an ad trade, email me, I'm thinking about doing that in December!!) I just find that sharing my life with all my internet friends, and reading about theirs is constantly exciting, it's great writing and storytelling practice and every single new follower or comment makes me feel like it's totally worth it.

If you like what you read, and I know you did, check out Nova on her twitter, tumblr and facebook pages! Thanks a million, Nova!

Thanksgiving Hand Turkeys and Construction Paper Leaves

2011-11-24T16:54:00.000-07:00

Caleb volunteered to make our Thanksgiving for One (Family) at our apartment this year, so Jacko and I made the decorations. Hand turkeys and a leaf garland!

Jacko's Hand Turkey was named Donut, and Mine was named Donut 2.

Another Jacko turkey was named Darth Vader, and Daddy's turkey was named Darth Maul.

And during a Lucy nap, we cut, colored, and strung a million construction paper leaves. I free-hand cut the leaves and Jacko requested a heart and some acorns as well.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and God bless us, every one.

Wait...what?

Angry Holiday Faces

2011-11-23T07:57:00.001-07:00

I made the grave mistake of agreeing to get some last-minute Thanksgiving groceries today. So grievous an error has never been made.

I have never encountered a meaner, more anxiety-filled batch of Wal-Mart patrons than I did today. I counted seven different people honking angrily in the parking lot before we even made it into the store! Once we got inside, the usual spaces were parking lots in themselves; people gritted their teeth and gathered their carts around the potatoes, the pumpkin pie, and the rolls. Specific spaces were emptied out on the shelves and only some aisles were three carts wide. I will admit that it was a bit harrowing for me.

But it made it all worth it when I misunderstood something a stranger mouthed to me.

We pulled our cart into one of the cashier lanes; the man in front of us got a belt divider and placed it behind his groceries. I said to him loudly, "Oh, thank you so much!" And he inaudibly responded:

"I love you."

Or maybe he just said "You're welcome" or "Thank you" or "Happy holidays."

I will never know, but I do know that he made my nightmarish pre-Thanksgiving shopping trip memorable.

Do you have any horror stories about shopping for Thanksgiving?

Or are you more of a Black Friday shopper?

A Cop-Out Link-Up Day

2011-11-22T11:49:00.001-07:00

As Jack would say, "It's a hard day, mommy."

I had a fantastic post planned for today, but my patience with the children has been thin due to a sinus infection festering in my head. And me having no patience for them means they have no patience for a blogging mama.

Here are some fantastic things I have seen around the internet recently. Check 'em out!

Going Big and Bold With Font Size with Caleb
Delicious Review of Paula Deen's Pumpkin Gooey Cake with the SPICE THAT girls
Maryam of Pamplemousse1983 talking about Surprise Balls
Whitney's battle with urban bedbugs
Some self-portrait words of wisdom from Jess of IROCKSOWHAT
A new show called How Many People Does It Take? on the History Channel, in which you meet all of the people on the assembly lines of your favorite products. My husband will love this!

Trash Being Trash

2011-11-21T08:42:00.001-07:00

I love my husband. We have been together for six years this December (including dating, engagement, and married times), and we have settled into a really nice relationship. We do that thing where one of us can walk into a room, ask the other person about "That thing," and the response is always exactly what the other person was talking about. Amazing!

But there are dark times, too. There are some really tough moments that make me question myself as a wife, and some instances where I ask why we ever thought we were compatible. Things don't always work for us.

If you are waiting for me to air our dirty laundry, then you will be waiting a long time. But, I am willing to share a major contention between us: our dirty trash.

Ever since we got married, Caleb and I have had a problem our trash disposal. Kids, no kid—it hasn't mattered. I can honestly say that I have lost sleep over this particular wrinkle in our marriage. We have talked about it constantly, coming up with various ways to work it out; our current practice is that I will bag it up and then Caleb will take it out.

I grew up in a house full of girls, so there hasn't been a "man's work" connotation connected to it for me. Admittedly, before we had kids, I was just lazy. But now that we live in a third-floor apartment with two children two-years-old and under, I find taking the trash out to be burdensome. If Lucy could get down the stairs by herself, I could probably swallow my pride and get it done. If I felt comfortable leaving the kids in the house by themselves for an extended period of time, I wouldn't hesitate to walk down all of the stairs, walk a couple of buildings over to the dumpster, and walk all the way back up the stairs. I could use the exercise.

But I think we are at a stalemate. The picture above is how our laundry/trash room looks this morning. Vertically, it shows all of the trash in its stinky glory. A horizontal picture is more aesthetically pleasing, though.

Garbage bursting out at the seams! And all I'm willing to do is take pictures of it. Hate.

A Surprise Under That Hat

2011-11-20T14:05:00.001-07:00

With a mohawk, Jack has a little more room in his hat now.

So why not fill it with Star Wars toys?

Happy Sunday, everyone!

Check out the Biggest Loser Challenge I posted yesterday—come out of the wood works (read: those who read but never comment!) and know that my heart is fully invested in helping us all succeed. Comment to let me know that you want to help motivate someone else become healthier!

Brainstorming for Participation Points

2011-11-19T10:29:00.001-07:00

If you check out the sidebar to your right, you will see a section called "Participation Points." I am extremely proud of my participation in those events; taking online courses and sharing ideas with people around the world has broadened my horizons immensely. I am now hoping to throw my hat into the ring, even in a small way, if only because I have selfish reasons.

**********************

My exercise regimen has been going really well; the clarity of mind and invigoration of body has been astounding. What has not been particularly astounding is my weight loss. Yes, I have been losing some inches and I am thrilled about that. But as I have been drowning myself in episodes of The Biggest Loser on Netflix Streaming (every single episode of every season is available), I have realized what I have been missing—a buddy. The camaraderie that each person on that show enjoys pushes them to greater heights. I want that feeling.

A never-before-seen photo of me at my fittest EVER—circa March 2009

I have had successes and failures in hosting Biggest Loser-type competitions. The many iterations have been full of Facebook friends, who may or may not have actively participated. The first couple of times I did this competition, I was so motivated and extremely inspired. The most recent one was an epic fail for me. At the time, I wasn't a good enough companion for myself. Now, I want to have a partner to inspire me and to motivate me—I know I wouldn't want to let my partner down!

If you would be interested in participating in a Biggest Loser pairs competition sometime soon, please let me know through the comments or shoot me an email at luxurious (at) gmail (dot) com. You can "bring" a friend or get set-up with someone by yours truly. I always provide a fantastic prize to the winner (usually a gift card I can send you online) and I am hopeful that I can moderate a great forum where we can all gather together for support.

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The other thing I have been thinking about doing in a grouptastic fashion is a Friends and Family talent show. There is a Yo Gabba Gabba episode called "Talent," and I know that many people I love have loads of talent. I threw it out there as a jokey idea, but the more I think about it the more I want to do it. I don't know what my talent would be, but it definitely wouldn't be a rehash of this amazing performance of "Crazy in Love."

Gift Ideas: Small Businesses Galore

2011-11-18T08:01:00.000-07:00

I once had a friend who received only gift cards for Christmas one year. There was no collusion between his friends and family, just a bunch of "He likes to shop, so of course he'll like this gift card." He was crestfallen, to say the least.

Now, I plan on giving a few gift cards this holiday season, so I'm not hating on them at all. What I am hating on is the mentality of people liking shopping for themselves as opposed to receiving a thoughtful gift. One-of-a-kind gifts are also a delight to receive.

And it may be Occupy Wall Street of me to say, but the best kind of gifts this holiday season are going to be thoughtful, one-of-a-kind gifts that come from small businesses. Men and women pursuing their dreams and trying to make a better life for themselves and their family would love our patronage this time of year. I have made a goal to buy from small businesses as much as I can, and thus far I have done a pretty good job—75% done with Christmas shopping and counting!

To encourage you to spread more than one kind of holiday cheer, here are some reasonably-priced ideas for seasonal shopping this year.

Out of Alabaster silhouettes
Lindsey Cazac is a quality person and an amazing artist. I thought of silhouettes as only a Disneyland kind of art; I have more than one sister who has had her silhouette done on Main Street, USA! But Lindsey has proven me wrong; here is what she has to say about her hand-drawn silhouettes:

"Silhouette portraiture has a rich history dating back to the 1600's, and I love creating these heirlooms with a modern twist. I take great joy in digitally crafting each portrait to capture the essence and quirks of your loved ones."

Dogbone Art
If you have spied Jack's "Hot Diggety" shirt, then you have seen the work of Dogbone Art. Screen-printed characters of all shapes and sizes are featured on shirts, scarfs, totes, and more. Every piece of work is durable and adorable, and the customer service can't be beat. Plus, they've been featured on Ace of Cakes—can't argue with that!

After Nine to Five
I can't remember how I found Ashley's store, but I do know that I'm a frequent patron of her amazing selection of goodies. One-of-a-kind necklaces, insanely cute prints, and even consulting for the blogger in your life fill up the digital walls of her store. She is always available to answer questions through her twitter and is willing to bend over backwards to make you a happy customer.

Source: shopafterninetofive.com via Holly on Pinterest

StickyInk
There might be people more talented than Heather, but I doubt it. Her prints are charming and quirky, which is right up my alley. Being married to a web developer, I have learned that the best things involve web code and style—Heather's art has both! And with every order, she sends out the freaking cutest paper doll monster! I could probably love her stuff more, but my brain can't handle that level of adoration.

Source: etsy.com via Holly on Pinterest

PagebyPaige
Speaking of love affairs, I have a long-standing one with my girl Paige of Chris and Paige. She is one of the most inspired artists I can think of, plus she has the best attitude/curly hair of anyone I know. Her main work revolves around scrapbooking, but she is a heck of a designer too; American Crafts thought she was great enough to produce some product lines, and I can't disagree.

She is featuring a 2012 5x7" calendar in her shop this season, which you should check out below. I had the 2010 version of this calendar and I kept it even after the year was long over (read: I still have it). Paige is giving one of these calendars away on her blog, but if you don't score one that way, you can use the code EARLYBIRD for 10% off!

No Country For Sleeping Holly

2011-11-16T08:16:00.000-07:00

Do you see the blue pillow at the top of the bed?

Peel your eyes away from the pajama-clad children and the stack of books on the bedside table (Nick Hornby and some scriptures).

The blue pillow at the top of the bed is my pillow, and its position is where I find it every morning. Notice the split of our queen-sized bed.

50/50? No. 60/40? Nah. 70/30? Now we're getting somewhere.

My husband and I start out with an even amount of bed real estate every night. Caleb is a cuddler, so he is often on my side of the bed anyway. If you want to get technical, you can check out the arrangement of his pillows and see that there's a vertical one that takes up even MORE room. It is room he's not even using.

Don't cry for me, everyone. I am not a martyr—I'm just a girl who can't get a good night's rest without being nearly pushed out of bed.

Quick anecdote:
On the night of our wedding, Caleb and I slept well. In the middle of the night, I woke up to Caleb slamming me with his forearm repeatedly. I shouted at him to stop and he looked at me, frightened. He had perceived that I was falling out of the bed and he was trying pull me to safety. A brand-new husband was trying to keep his bride (of less than 24 hours) from falling out of the king-sized bed. Caleb is so dear, but dude can be silly sometimes.

Mohawks for Mike

2011-11-15T08:18:00.001-07:00

My friend Mike is still comatose. He has had many small victories since the initial incident, but it feels like he has been this way for a million years. The uncertainty of everything has slid from adrenaline-fueled panic to a slow waiting game; I'm not sure which I personally prefer.

Mike's friends and family have banded together to give support to his parents, siblings, and wife through this trying time. Some of the philanthropic efforts are pragmatic, like the Orem Firefighter Mike Stentzel Fund started at Zion's Bank, and others are a bit more symbolic.

The facebook group that was started to keep everyone up to date on Mike's condition has spawned a particularly symbolic movement. Mike's friend Craig suggested that "Mohawks for Mike" become a way that people could urge Mike to a full recovery; the "Menace to Society" photo above is from when Mike had a mohawk, and he has since had a fondness for them, though being a firefighter has hindered his 'hawk efforts.

Craig showed that his suggestion wasn't mere lip service. He had Mike's initials shaved into one side of his head and a feather on the other to represent Mike's Angels. The mohawk looks spectacular, no?

Mike's brother-in-law Callan followed suit, adopting a mohawk that furthers along his hardcore skater look.

And Mike's sister-in-law McKenna even adapted her hairstyle to get the mohawk shape. Plus, she convinced a friend to join her!

Caleb and Jack are also going to participate in "Mohawks for Mike," barring any tragic hair cutting I accidentally do. When Mike wakes up, he is going to be so enthused that out of tragedy came a ton of mohawks. If you knew Mike, you'd think it fitting.

In the midst of all of this hardcoreness, I have finally let myself grieve a bit. Having been with his wife Kelsae that very first day, I knew that I needed to be a rock of comfort and support. I have made jokes, given a listening ear, and even calmly explained to my three-year-old why Mike has been sleeping for almost two weeks. And while I commented to Callan that his mohawk was missing Mike's "wafflemakers," or Doc Martens as the rest of us call them, tears started flowing down my face. I was so angry at Mike for doing this to his super-pregnant wife and for not waking up sooner and for not giving the doctors a reason for this to happen to him. At least have some family history or something, Mike!

And since that silly wafflemaker comment, every time I think about the situation, I get a little misty.

The words that have strengthened my heart for today are from the one and only Jordan Hall, who has dealt with his own severe medical issues:

"I know what it feels like to want to give up, but what saved me, continues to keep me strong, are friends like you and the support you render, so be strong for his wife like you were for me."

I need to put my game face back on; I might as well punk that game face out while I'm at it.

Edited to Add:

Here are the results of the Flanagan mohawks.


Jacko rocks the Spiderman mohawk.

Lucy's bath time mohawk.

And Caleb is making Mountain Man Mohawks chic again.

SDB Interviews: Cari of Completely Ordinary

2011-11-13T22:00:00.001-07:00

My introduction of Cari of Completely Ordinary shall be short and sweet, since you've already heard about our trip to California together, our shared Muppet experience, and myriad other mentions in other stories. She's basically awesome.

Cari is my father's sister's daughter—she is my cousin. She is a graduate of Brigham Young University with a degree in Psychology, a teacher of an after-school rock band, and a veteran of several types of employment. Cari feels passionately about documentaries, the Beatles, slam poetry, and mental health. She also feels strongly that most women could rock a pixie hair cut.

If you look at this picture of Cari, you can see that she rocks that hair cut. You might also think that she doesn't like me. But what she really doesn't like it having her picture taken, which you will hear about later in this post. Beware: the following interview is wordy, but there is a surprise at the end if you keep with it!

Describe your blog to the uninitiated. When you write, who do you envision is reading your blog?
I started my blog as part of a larger goal to open up. When I was younger, my friends accused me of never telling them anything. Five years and many somewhat uncomfortable truths later, nobody can say that anymore. It's not all dark, though, by any means; my blog documents the things, people, and ideas I love. There's even a year in the archives that is full of funny little kid stories. I imagine my readers to be people who either have a little bit of angst (the blog has mental illness angst, religion angst, gay angst, political angst--whatever your flavor, I've probably touched on it at one point), who are the kind of wonderfully supportive people I have in my life, or who are curious about folks who deal with one of the issues I just mentioned. I encourage the curiousity. One of the biggest reasons I started writing is to encourage conversation and the development of little communities.

Your job experience has been interesting since you graduated college. What are the pros and cons of being a 20-something who has had many jobs in a short time?
The biggest con is obviously that I have a longer than average resume, which makes it interesting to apply and interview for new jobs. Having a lot of jobs in a short span of time also means that I field a lot of, "Now are you working at that one place where...?" questions. Nobody in my life is quite sure what I do anymore. There are also lots of pros, though. I have learned quite a bit about what I like to do, so when I am finally fully licensed I will have a better idea of where I'm headed. (Rehab? Maybe so. A lockdown facility? Definitely not. Developmentally delayed two-year-olds, underprivileged teens, or people with substance abuse issues? A distinct possibility. People with conduct disorder? KILL ME NOW.) Moving around a bit has also helped me to accrue experience in more fields than I would have expected at this point. I have worked with people aged six months to sixty years in one capacity or another. I've worked with people of both sexes, many races, many disorders, and many presenting problems. On the other side of all of that, I still want to work with people, and as a twenty-something in the social sciences, that knowledge after this much experience is invaluable.

There have been bouts of unemployment in between your many jobs. Do you have any advice for smart, young, accomplished people going through unemployment right now?
Mostly I just have the kind of advice I feel like your grandma would give you. Don't get overwhelmed. There have obviously been better times to be unemployed, economically speaking, but there is still a lot of opportunity to be had. Try to look at your situation as a chance to find something new and exciting to do. Make finding a job your fulltime job, and it's easier to find a job if you have a job. After I quit the Death Job, I was doing so many interviews that for the first time in my life I actually used a dayplanner, and I applied and interviewed for most anything I thought I could get. Once I found the parttime job I still have, I was a lot more relaxed because I had some income, and I think this helped me land my newest fulltime job. I went from suddenly unemployed to overemployed in a little under a month, and I'm proud of myself for doing so. That, and my new jobs are totally awesome, and I would have never looked for them if I hadn't have been driven to quit without notice after seven weeks on the job.

Being so entrenched in the world of mental health, what would you tell those who are too afraid to seek help for their own issues or aren't certain that they have issues at all? What would you say to those with loved ones who are suffering with mental health issues?
To the people who aren't sure they have issues, I always say the same thing: therapy isn't just for the super crazies. Therapeutic interventions actually work the best for people who are dealing with the "smaller" stuff. If you feel like your daily life is being negatively impacted by something that is cognitive or emotional, make an appointment with a therapist. Studies show that 80% of us could seriously benefit from therapy at some point in our lives, and if you are even thinking that something may be wrong, that time for you is probably right now. I know firsthand how scary it can be to make that appointment and sit in that chair the first time, to say, effectively, I need help with something that nobody can see, something that I'm not sure is real at all, something that nobody else seems to need help conquering. The truth is, though, that almost nobody is as stable as they seem to be and that most people are not brave enough to face those fears head-on by actually seeing a therapist. Another truth is that once you are in therapy, there are few experiences less threatening than being in thearpy. Therapists are not scary people, and if yours is, it's time to switch therapists.

My heart goes out to the loved ones of people with mental illness. I know how hard that role is, too. Remember that their struggles are no commentary on you. Remember that you can't save them, that you are not the one and only person who can understand them. Learn how to walk the line. Your loved one needs you to be unfailingly supportive without being manipulated or made to get too emotionally involved. Take care of yourself first by meeting your own emotional needs. Draw boundaries when you need to. Reach out for help if you need it. There are support groups for people with serious mental illness, or you can also see a therapist if you need to because, as I said, therapy isn't just for the super crazies.

Please tell my good readers about Scari Dahl Faces. Pictures would be greatly appreciated.
Once upon a time, I was a freshman at BYU, living in Deseret Towers. Next door lived a wonderful girl named Jennifer. Jennifer bought a digital camera and took it everywhere. Suddenly there were pictures of everything. I was not entirely comfortable with being photographed (I'm still not), so I would see the camera coming out and something in my brain would short and I'd panic. Sometimes the results were positive:

but even when they were not:

everything went on Facebook. One year for Christmas Jennifer chose from the almost endless ridiculous possibilities and made Scari Dahl Faces, a memory-type game in which players have to match copies of horrifying pictures of me. Don't worry, the game still lives in my closet and comes out occasionally, much to my chagrin. I was unbeatable for a long time because only Jennifer and I could pick out the subtle differences between some of the photos. Not all black and white photos of me sticking out my tongue are created equal, people.

Isn't Cari the coolest? She is definitely a kindred spirit and freaking fantastic, as well. Cari returned the favor and asked me to guest post on her blog, which I gladly did. I wrote about How to dump Toxic Friends, which you should check out. You know we all have at least one!

Tilt: A (Someday) Novel

2011-11-12T04:36:00.000-07:00

Every November since I found out about it, I have aspired to participate in National Novel Writing Month. That makes six years of lofty goals that have flickered out into half-written "fiction" novels about whatever was going on with me that year—weight loss, adjusting to marriage, finding yourself while being a new mother. This year, I even chucked the idea of writing fiction and told myself that I was allowed to write a tiny memoir. No results.

But I had these writing dreams even before I knew about NaNoWriMo. While digging around my Love Notes folder, I found a few over-sized note cards tucked into the back flap. After checking them out, I realized that they were outlines for a novel I started writing in my freshman year of college. I had named it "Tilt: A Novel."

My whole world changed when I moved to college; my first relationship was over, I was living in a new place which I had never done before (thanks, living in the same place for my whole life!), and I was flailing around frantically academically-speaking. I thought that setting all of that in a fictional world would make it hurt less.

Each character was an amalgamation of myself and my friends; you can see in my character notes that some people are described as "Cole-esque" or "Cora-esque." I find the people in my life to be extremely inspiring, artistically, so it's no wonder that I would incorporate them in my writing. At the time, I also found everyone I knew to be incredibly complex and twisted, even if they weren't. Thus is the life of an 18-year-old.

Looking over these notes might have made me cringe at my former self, but I actually was invigorated. I think I may chase after this dream once again, even though it's mid-November and I would have no chance of finishing it in time to claim the NaNoWriMo prize.

And on a seemingly-unrelated note, I found this card with the others and think the musings are extremely cryptic. Apparently it's a list about myself.

My friend Olivia introduced a love of cheeseburgers into my life, so the first bullet point is a gimme. The others are mysterious though: what kind of art did I want to do, who was this boy, and to whom was the "starting over and over" open letter?

The final point makes the most sense, though. I am positive that wherever I wrote this card, it smelled like fart. End of discussion.

Do you consider yourself a writer?

Is there another artistic endeavor that you've always dreamed of doing, but haven't?

Finish Line Friday: Pins of Glory

2011-11-10T12:14:00.001-07:00

Can you believe that I used to think that "pinning" was still a real thing? Like, a boyfriend gives his girlfriend his treasured pin and they officially become Official.

My first Real Boyfriend (apologies to all of the boys I dated before then) did not pin me. He did other wonderful things like get me flowers, which I instantly chided him for since I hate flowers, and insist that I excel in my studies instead of bumming around with him 24/7, which I pouted about constantly. You know, maybe it's a good thing that he never pinned me. I probably would have been a silly, petulant teenage girl about it.

However, my boyfriend did give me a piece of meaningful jewelry. When he was born, his father gave him an adult-sized gold chain; I am not quite sure why he did this, but my guess is that it was some sort of manhood ritual. My boyfriend wore it every day and I equated it with him unequivocally. During a particularly romantic moment, he sneaked the gold chain into my hand and told me to keep it.

That's about as close as I ever got to being pinned. I was chained.

I kept the chain long after he broke up with me; I would have gladly given it back if he ever asked for it, but him refusing to talk to me ever again after the break-up made that tough. In fact, I kept the necklace for a few years after I had been married. What? I know I am still head over heels for this boy and so does my husband!

My mom still had connections with my former boyfriend's family, and I gave her the necklace to return to him. I regret doing it every day, not because I don't have the necklace anymore but because I didn't give him back the necklace in person. A drawback to being a chicken is that closure is near impossible.

All of that being said, I didn't need to be pinned by any boy. I had my own pins: two pins from my CJSF participation and a pin from my beloved high school theatre company.

Give Him All the Love You Can

2011-11-10T09:00:00.000-07:00

Working out on a regular basis has been a good excuse to listen to my music collection, which is eclectic at best. I just want to add that I have a ton more energy since workoutout—woohoo! Last night's workout churned out such classics as "Big Girls Don't Cry" and "Shake Ya Tailfeather," but an unexpected song for a workout reminded me that my husband and I are M.F.E.O.

Made For Each Other.

I have the Sleepless in Seattle soundtrack and my thought-provoking song was "Stand By Your Man" by Tammy Wynette. In the song, she says, "Stand by your man, and tell the world you love him."

And I do love my man! I mean, just look at him:

After Jacko decided he wanted to be Captain Hook for Halloween this year, he assigned everyone else a costume. Caleb looked dreamy as Mr. Smee, Lucy was sweet in her Wendy costume, and I tried to rock a pink sweatsuit as best I could. We had a successful Halloween, filled with a visit to Caleb's work and trick-or-treating with Eden & Britain, my nieces. Jacko kept his hook and hat on all night—dude stayed in character, natch!

I am grateful for my man, and I'll stand by him even if he decides to become a career pirate.

Pineapple Passion and BYU Blue

2011-11-09T16:30:00.000-07:00

When your kid watches Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, he will eventually ask for a pineapple. Apparently, pineapples are featured heavily on the show because of Goofy's love for them. This was something I didn't know about Goofy before I started watching this show.

And if your local grocery store is selling them for $3 a piece, it doesn't seem like a bad investment.

Dole hooks you up and attaches a tag to the crown of the pineapple, telling you how to get the actual fruit from this pointy monstrosity. I will admit that I probably would have balked at hearing that there was an instructional aide for any other fruit; for pineapples, however, it seems like a good idea.

Fresh pineapple is unreal, y'all. I am a keen pineapple fan, and yet yesterday was the first time I had ever had fresh pineapple. I think if I say fresh pineapple one more time, I will be able to convince you to go get one for your own. Fresh pineapple, everyone. So good.

Another passion around the Flanagan house is Brigham Young University hats. Jack will get in hatty moods and will demand that everyone in the house wear one. Thanks to having two former BYU students in residence here, we are at critical mass when it comes to BYU hats.

Yesterday, Jacko chose a beanie for Lucy and a ball cap for himself. Thanks to my penchant for making big-headed children, the hats almost actually fit them.

I also have a knack for making sassy children. Do you see the hand on the hip in the picture above? She seems to be saying, "Get that hat right, Jacko. Just tilt it a little bit...there we go."

And then she danced due to her success. Doesn't it look like she's snapping? No more pineapple for that girl, I think.

Getting My Photo On

2011-11-08T11:21:00.000-07:00

How do you get in the habit of taking fancy pictures of yourself?

Most of mine are from the chest up and with an expression of "I hope the camera is actually getting me at some level." I use my point and shoot camera, which I love and adore simply because I hated my life without a digital camera. So, if I take a picture of myself, it looks like this.

I love how bloggers of all shapes and sizes are constantly taking pictures of themselves and sharing them with the world. Putting faces to writers I love is extremely exciting for me; I felt quite judged as a teenager because I wanted to get to know people on the internet, but I was often told that they weren't "real people." You are real to me!

My photo inspirations are Jess at IROCKSOWHAT, Maryam at Pamplemousse!, Rubyellen at Cakies, Deanna at Delirious Rhapsody, and Kam at Campfire Chic. Each special lady has their own personality that really shines through in each photo; even if Kam isn't standing in the San Bernardino mountains or Maryam isn't sporting her fancy glasses, I can recognize their essence in their photos.

So many people use photos from their iPhones or smart phones. Would I really take more pictures of myself if I had one? I am thinking about challenging myself to wear earrings every day for a week, or start rocking the red lipstick like I did when I was pregnant with Lucy. Would the easy access to photo-taking make that challenge a little more enticing?

As I said previously, I have a closet full of clothes I adore but can't wear because I am still battling the post-baby weight. Fashion hasn't always been important to me, but making a statement with my clothes is still something to which I aspire. I want people to look at me and know what I am about—approachable with a bit of a hard edge. But I can't do that in my constant mom gear. The What I (Honestly) Wore Wednesday movement is super inspiring, and I am not afraid to show that I am not fancy every day. But maybe I can be a little more motivated to freshen up if I can have photographic proof of it?

My last resort is to hire Whitney Hardie to follow me around for the rest of my life and take constant photos of me. Please give me self-serve advice so I don't bankrupt myself for vanity's sake.

Pop Culture Love: Pentatonix

2011-11-07T11:54:00.002-07:00

I have an intensely unhealthy relationship with competitive reality TV. I scoff at the "candid reality" genre, looking down my nose at the Kardashians and The Real Housewives. But if the Kardashians were voting each other off an island or the Real Housewives were in a heated battle over who could walk a Jersey runway best, I would be all over it. I am a sucker for anything with the prefix "Project _________" or "America's Next Top ___________."

But the best reality TV show on television right now is The Sing-Off. The show started in 2009 during the holiday season, showcasing a cappella groups from around the country. I was in from the beginning, mainly because one of the judges is Shawn Stockman of Boyz II Men. I have performed enough Boyz II Men songs for talent shows to be called a huge fan. A major fan. A mega-fan. Another piece of entertainment that has me in the palm of its hand is a Spike Lee venture called Do It Acappella, a PBS production from 1990 that featured a cappella groups talking about their craft and performing the heck out of a bunch of songs. My parents taped it when it aired, and we continue to watch it whenever we are all together.

What I am trying to say is, I love a cappella music.

And on The Sing-Off, I love a group called Pentatonix. They are comprised of five singers and perform pop, dubstep, hip-hop, and electronic songs to perfection. When the live voting comes on The Sing-Off, most of my votes will be headed to Pentatonix. There is a vocal jazz group called Afro-Blue who will garner the remainder of my votes, though.

I first fell in love with Pentatonix's version of Ke$ha's "Your Love is My Drug," which can be seen below.

I then ventured back to their first-ever performance on The Sing-Off, which was a mind-blowing version of Katy Perry's "E.T."

But my favorite performance of theirs is Kanye West's "Love Lockdown," because it features a sick performance by their bass Avi Kaplan (who went to Mt. San Antonio College, where I have attended many choir competitions!).

The Sing-Off is in the first two hours of NBC prime time on Monday nights. That would happen to be tonight, wouldn't it? Then this is a perfect excuse for you to check out Pentatonix tonight!

Dude Can't Sleep

2011-11-06T07:52:00.005-07:00

I have recently been all about Independent Women. I capitalize that, solely because I believe that it is an important trait in a woman. The constant moaning about "If only my man were here" is evidence to me that you are selling yourself short. Every woman has the capability to achieve any of her goals and reach maximum happiness on her own merits. Being with a significant other is simply icing on the cake, and what tasty icing it is! Growing up as one of five sisters under a strong mother made me a huge proponent of girl power.

I reassure my husband, Caleb, constantly that I love him and appreciate the myriad ways he helps in my life. He is the perfect provider, helpmate, and co-parent for our kids. I also like to tell him that if he were to die, that I could handle our business on my own. And I know that I would because I have a responsibility to myself and my children to create a happy life, regardless of the situation.

Speaking of situations, Caleb has been having trouble sleeping lately. He has always gone through phases where he can't sleep, but they pass relatively quickly. Because Lucy still gets up at night, he is hesitant to take sleeping aids, though he does do it occasionally. Last night was one of those nights. He woke me up to let me know that he was going to be medicinally asleep until mid-morning, at the earliest. Caleb has gone to our trusted doctor about this problem, and she told him a bunch of great things to do. Unfortunately, it is hard to remember to do all of those things every day.

I feel badly for the poor guy. He never insists that I stay awake with him, which I'm grateful for. Hopefully, in those sleepless nights, he feels confident that I can take care of everything during the waking hours of the day. Because I can!

Finish Line Friday: Superior in Duet Acting

2011-11-04T08:58:00.003-06:00

It has gotten a little heavy around this biz, right?

To lighten things up, I would like to present an award that I received for an acting piece I did from 'night, Mother. If you know anything about the play, you're thinking to yourself, "Lighten things up? That play is ultra depressing and extremely deep. Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Holly?"

Excuse me, I think you mean "Holy."

I remember participating in this thespian festival my senior year. I also recall feeling like I did a pretty good job. But apparently it wasn't me.

It was Holy.

I think I will still take all of the credit, though. I mean, who still has the award after all these years? Holy didn't even care to come get it from me.

Side note:
I scored well on the mandatory-ish military aptitude test I took my junior year of high school. I apparently would have been a benefit to my country in that way, so I was on the government's radar. From then on, whenever I would get phone calls or mail from any branch of the armed services, I would be referred to as "Hooly."

Hooly Holy at your service.

Gift Ideas: Love Notes

2011-11-03T11:35:00.001-06:00

Remember yesterday, how I was all like, "Worst day of my entire life" this and "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger" that? About two hours after I posted it, I received a phone call from a friend whose husband had an aneurysm. I rushed down to Provo to be by her side and I joked my way into an acceptable distraction from all of the sadness rolling around. My friend is holding it together so well, and her husband is in the ICU, but alive.

My worst day ever? Remember that?

I think I have been lucky.

On the drive home from the hospital last night, I pondered the Big Questions, as one does. I thought about what I want to leave as my mark in this world when I am gone. My children were an obvious answer, but I remembered something that I had tucked away from years ago.

My 18th birthday came at one of the happiest times of my life, and I wanted to remember it so badly. Instead of gifts, I asked for letters. My kindred spirit grandpa did this a few years before he died, and he adored what was written. My friends and family came together and created a notebook full of love notes from people I cared about. Each letter is hand-crafted on stationary, then tucked into a page protector.

Some of the letters were actually poetry or drawings; many included quotations or scripture. All of them included kind and flattering words. My favorite things to read, however, are the memories that people wrote about me being friendly, charitable, and intelligent. I don't feel like I am those things most of the time, but I especially feel badly when I look back on my high school days.

That is what I want to leave behind. I want to be a benefit to those who know me, and even be one to those who don't. I want to act in such a way that people will be sorry to see me gone, but happy to think back on me. My friend's husband is a firefighter, and the brotherhood of those men astounded me as I watched a slew of them waiting to hear news of his condition. Paramedics, life flight pilots, and people he has worked with at the hospital filed in, anxious to get word about him. He is a good guy, and he deserves all of that love. I want that, too. My funeral will potentially be full of stories like I have in my birthday love notes. I know that I have to earn it, though; I intend to earn it.

And then I will drive into Heaven in my Holly-mobile. Pretty sweet, right?

Could you forgo gifts to receive some simple, but meaningful letters?

This would be even easier for someone to arrange for a friend, now that social media exists.

Who would you want to give some Love Notes to?

My Makeshift Anniversary

2011-11-02T09:09:00.000-06:00

I am probably weird. I don't really try to deny that, because I actually like to be a little weird. I rage against the milquetoast and oppose the pedestrian.

But, I know that I am weird.

I know this because I have been celebrating the anniversary of one of the worst days of my entire life. This time last year, my life imploded and the fall-out was epic. Many of my relationships changed and most of my feelings about myself changed. To be intentionally vague, let's just say that I have never cried so hard as I cried that weekend.

My celebration of its anniversary, though, has been particularly joyous. I reflect on this last year as one of the happiest I have ever spent. I added another person to my family, achieved a heck of a lot goal-wise, and spent each and every day being thankful for what I had.

They say that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. They also say that you are stronger than you realize. Additionally, they say that you're stronger than yesterday.

Okay, maybe only Britney Spears says that last one.

I am strong. I have become stronger. I intend on becoming the strongest I can be.

Until then, I think I will just stay weird.